Hello everyone!
I would greatly appreciate it if someone could read over my essay for Northwestern's McCormack School of Engineering.
Thanks!
Northwestern Statement: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified? (300 words)
An ideal university, in my opinion, is one that has a strong engineering department, research facilities, and small size. Northwestern's renowned Robert R. McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Science has an astoundingly low 7:1 student-faculty ratio, as well as a reputation of being a Carnegie Research 1 University.
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You have certainly managed to describe, with flavor, the academic opportunities that the McCormick school offers.
What makes your essay stand out is that you mention a particular figure from the school, Mr. Tyo. But instead of merely calling his work "fascinating", show us how his fascinating work prompted you into developing a certain interest. Also, in that particular paragraph, the word "research" seems to be excessive...maybe find a synonym or delete a few of those words.
Consider rewording: "Because of McCormick School of Engineering's small size..." into something less...mouthful.
A few other grammatical errors: "Northwestern is also strongly advocates cross-disciplinary connections"
"something that is unique to itself." --> "an exclusive characteristic of the highly-regarded department.." ...or something like this.
Finally, I would recommend not starting off with the common statistics of Northwestern that everyone can recite off the school website. Given the 300 word limit, I admit that the task to succinctly describe NU's qualities can be daunting, but you should open your essay with something that will make you stand out from among the other applicants.
Overall, great job in answering the prompt in its entirety!:)
Haha, thanks for the feedback!
My first draft was even worse with the intro.
I'll go back and fix it all up. You were great help.
Thanks again!
I have updated my Northwestern Essay, if anyone out there is willing to take a look at it again.
I am willing to help you if you would like me to read your essays too.
Thanks!
This is great! It's even smoother than before, the intro is more personable, and the adcom can really get a sense of your passion.
experience is one which is not available elsewhere --> experience is one that is not available...
There is no clear transition from the 1st paragraph to the second. So may I suggest after "To me, an ideal university aligned with my interests is one with a strong engineering department, top tier research facilities, small size and variety of disciplines", put something like "This is Northwestern." or "Northwestern has all of this." (for example)
Can you look at my boston college prompt for me?:)
Here is a final version that I will be submitting tomorrow. THanks for all of your help! I feel like the quality of my essay has improved greatly.
And yes, I will definitely take a look at your BU essay.
Northwestern Statement: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified? (300 words)
Each university, like each individual student, is unique. In order for the college experience to be optimized, both the student and the university must fit each other. To me, an ideal university aligned with my interests is one with a strong engineering department, top tier research facilities, small size and variety of disciplines. In other words, Northwestern University.
With the small size of the McCormick School of Engineering, I will not only know the faculty on a personal level, but also be presented with a multitude of research opportunities; this will give me the opportunity to work with esteemed faculty members such as Assistant Professor Keith Tyo, whose research on genetic programming of microbes has caught my interest. Having written a research paper on the Briggs-Rauscher oscillating reaction recently, I discovered my curiosity of learning and applying theoretical concepts to our real world as done through engineering. I hope to take advantage of the plethora of research opportunities to further develop my skills and interests.
Northwestern also strongly advocates cross-disciplinary connections - an exclusive characteristic of the highly-regarded university. Using the whole-brain approach, Northwestern promotes collaboration amongst a range of disciplines in order to engage both the analytical and creative processes of the brain. As an engineer with an interest in economics, I would be able to utilize the NUvention courses to expand my interdisciplinary knowledge and also enroll in the Kellogg School of Management's undergraduate program. This cross-disciplinary approach to learning that Northwestern offers allows me to pursue both an education in engineering as well as economics, without having to compromise my interest in either field. This multidisciplinary experience is one that is not available elsewhere, and is something that I would take advantage of in order to make myself a more well-rounded intellectual. (300 words)
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