Why I choose to apply to UCF
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" That is a question a child is asked numerous times before they hit adolescence. Each time those 10 little words pop up into conversation. The child will most likely answer confidently, but what if we were to track one child's answers over a decade. Even if we asked them the question once a month, or twice a year. Their answers would most likely change as they grow older. For me, this was never the case, call me different, but since I was 5 years old, I knew the career path I wanted to take. Although not until recently, did I discover where my heart truly belonged. I always knew I wanted to work with children, but if I was asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" My response would simply be "I just want to be a positive influence in a child's life." Through elementary, and middle school I set my focus around being a Kindergarten teacher, a speech therapist, and in the 7th grade I even considered a fashion designer, I spent my days, sketching miniature designs of what I saw in fashion magazines, planning to one day be a world known fashion designer for the younger generation. That sounded like a great plan for a while, until I hit my high school years, and I realized that all of these career choices had something in common, all were related to children, and maybe I found my passion. Today, I have decided to dedicate my full time to children, in hopes to one day become a pediatrician. I am absolutely positive this is the road I am ready to travel, but of course my road needs a starting point, and for me, the ideal place for that would be at UCF. Living only 2 hours away from Orlando, would entail me to be in close range of my family, and allow me to see them on their quad yearly trips to Orlando. In all honesty though, I could write about 15 dozen reasons why I chose to apply at UCF, but the one that is most important is one that can not be explained, or seen by the human eye, it lies in my heart. The feeling of completeness when I see Knightro, the UCF mascot, or the Pegasus on the floor of the student union I saw during my campus tour. Maybe it's the acceptance, and utter joy I felt when I received all ten UCF post cards in the mail, but all in all, I believe that its the emotions that come over me when I look at those post cards hanging on my mirror. Those emotions cannot be explained, but possibly summed up into "UCF, My future second home, where strong learning foundations, are instilled in each Knight for a lifetime."
"Each time those 10 little words pop up into conversation. The child will most likely answer confidently, but what if we were to track one child's answers over a decade. Even if we asked them the question once a month, or twice a year. Their answers would most likely change as they grow older." These sentences don't seem complete, they seem like fragments. Maybe something like: Each time those 10 little words are asked the child will answer confidenlty with the answer changing almost every time.
"and allow me to see them on their quad yearly trips to Orlando." The "quad" yearly wording seems odd you may want to use different wording.
I think you should mention some facts about UCF that also convinced you that this was the right decision. Graduation rate, awards, etc...
Overall it is good and seems genuine.
track one child's answers over a decade. Even if we asked them the question once a month, or twice a year. Their answers would most likely change as they grow older. For me, this was never the case, call me different, but since I was 5 years old, I knew the career path I wanted to take.
You are making me wait so long before you tell me what it is! I think the big intro is NOT a good idea. Tracking what kids have said they wanted to be is something that has been done many times. And your reason for discussing it is simply to highlight the fact that your idea did not change... but saying you "have always wanted to be" is something that is used SO many times in these essays, too common of an approach.
Ah! I found the uniqueness in the essay. (It was buried in the middle.) What if the essay starts like this:
I just want to be a positive influence in a child's life . Through elementary and middle school I set my focus
around on being a kindergarten teacher, a speech therapist, and in the 7th grade I even considered
being a fashion designer. ---End the sentence here. New sentence: I spent my days, sketching miniature designs of what I saw in fashion magazines, planning to one day be a world known fashion designer for the younger generation. That sounded like a great plan for a while, until I hit my high school years, and I realized that all of these career choices had something in common, all were related to children,---Ah, now I like it!! It becomes interesting here.
I sugest cutting the top part and getting right into this discussion that begins with that blue sentence above. :-)
