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Students Helping Honduras - William and Mary Re-open Transfer Statement


imjordon 1 / 1  
Feb 28, 2010   #1
Prompt: "Tell us what you have been doing since you last applied to the College and why you would still like to attend."

With my high school career behind me, I set out to have a challenging, yet meaningful college experience. I found myself at Virginia Tech, with what seemed an inexhaustible amount of ideas for what I wanted to do with my life. After taking a semester of German, I quickly declared it my major, and have since been utterly consumed in it. I would value the opportunity to further my studies of this field at an institution with a prestigious foreign language department. I plan on taking an accelerated German course this summer and look forward to the programs available at William and Mary that will hopefully allow me to study abroad as early as next year.

I have also gotten involved with my university's chapter of an organization called "Students Helping Honduras." The organization mobilizes students to Honduras to the village of Villa Soleada for a week at a time and efforts are currently ongoing to supply electricity to houses, build an educational center, and various other projects. On a trip to a conference in Washington, D.C. last week, I was excited to discover that there is also a chapter at William and Mary, so I can continue my membership and plan on making a service trip this fall.

I continue to wish to attend William and Mary because I seek an institution that places a high value on academics. I now see that I am not being challenged enough; I am succeeding at my current institution, but I want to be engulfed in the motivation and knowledge of other students around me.

Does this answer the prompt well? I don't know if i've taken the right direction. It isn't creative, and may come off as a little boring, but the question was so open ended, I figured it would be best to just explain what i've been doing and why i still want to attend. Any help is appreciated. Thanks!
OP imjordon 1 / 1  
Feb 28, 2010   #2
Actually, I just changed the whole essay. I didn't like it. Does anyone have any suggestions on how long it should be? The prompt is so vague I could write all day, but i have a little less than 300 words right now and I think that seems adequate.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 1, 2010   #3
This is pretty great! Let's get rd of the second comma in this sentence:
After taking a semester of German, I quickly declared it my major and have since been utterly consumed in it.

In order to answer the question better, develop that last paragraph a little more. Also, give some more detail about what kinds of work you would like to do. Being bilingual prepares you to help in many ways. For example, Germany is one of the leading nations in using renewable energy. Is this something you are interested in? Or are you interested in being a translator, or being involved with international business?

:-)


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