Students: The Real Problem with American Schools - Common App - Not Personal Enough?

Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

Students: The Real Problem with American Schools

Our nation's school system is failing. It's a fact. Compared with other industrialized
countries, we're lagging far behind China, Japan, and other Far East nations, as well as many
European states. We're getting less competitive with every test score that is released to the
public, particularly in the criticallyimportant areas of science and math. This is the worst
possible thing that can happen to a country; when its educational system goes, so goes its future.
America's future is bleak.
Who's to blame? Is it the teachers, whose classes have become too "easy";the
administration, accused of making poor decisions; or the entire public school system, with its
inefficiently enormous amounts of time and effort spent on failing students?
No. The real problem with America's floundering schools is the students themselves.
Theyare doing poorlynot because they're unable to learn, but because theyare not trying.
I am a student at a poorly performing public high school, and I see evidence of students'
delinquencies everyday. Around me, my peers shirk off their homework, they sleep in class,
and theycopy answers on tests. This is not the exception but the norm. Most students do
everything theycan to avoid assignments or to put as little effort as possible into their work.
Everystudent is not inherentlyan underachieving slacker; many of them are extremely
disciplined and work hard in other areas, such as athletics. Within the school environment,
however, there is a culture of laziness, a malaisepermeating the student bodywith apathy.
The source of this attitude is unknown, but little is done bythe educational establishment
to smother it. Instead of punishing underachievers, teachers and administrators foster a variety
of "second chance" programs to reach standards set bythe district and state. Grade inflation,
easy bonus point assignments, and delayed test and due dates allow students to get by without
accomplishing the goal of their education.
Most students aren't at school to learn. To them, high school is a four-year, pointless
bore theymust suffer through so that theycan come out with a fancypiece of paper and get a
job. The real goal of education is to teach things that will make students better workers, citizens,
and thinkers. High school is not pointless. Students don't understand this, and so theyhave no
will to work hard in class or to tryto reap the rewards a real education creates. Even at my high
school, there are numerous opportunities for intellectual growth and meaningful discovery, but I
watch as many of even mybrightest peers waste these chances.
Our educational system needs a makeover, but it must start with the students. How can
teachers teach, administrators administrate, or legislatures legislate if students won't even do
their homework? High school students are intelligent and full of potential, but they need to
overcome the culture of laziness and invest in their education so that the future of America, and
of the world, will be brighter.

EDIT: I'm looking for help here:

Is my essay not personal enough? I know it's not a particularly quirky essay showing off that I'm funny and interesting, but I'm really not an overly funny person. I'm thoughtful and more serious, and I'm trying to reflect this in my essay.

Is this musing/rant on an important issue appropriate for the topic? I know it's within the guidelines.

Also, I do not attend a feeder high school in any way and I was hoping to acknowledge and show my understanding of that. Did I succeed?

And, should I include a title?

Thanks!

In my opinion,I am not trying to be mean, it is not personal at all.
First. you never answeared the question.
It is asking what and then not just the general importance of the issue but the analises of how it impacts you and the effect it will continue to have in your mind.

you might want to put in a counter argument from the opposite opinion and then say whay you are still right becasue this is very one sided and therefore can be easily criticized as biased, not always true, and arrogant.

The important part of the essay is the diffrent levels which society around you will be impacted by the issue and how will that impact later cause a change on you. rather then saying USA will go down the toilet you should bring a historical example showing how ancestors worked hard to built a country for the oppertunity of learning but instad we are faced with this sad reality now that if we do not change will impact this and that which will cause a reaction in this and that.

Make this more topic+your feelings about topic+topic influence+ influence of it on you, kind of essay.
and you rant a bit too much about the school's low swimers which makes you have a feeling of superiority rather then concern for the issue. you also have way too many short and croped simple sentences. Unless you are not in high school yet, make it more complex.

(I know my grammer is bad but please ignore it sense I english is one of my newly gained langueges, so note what I wrote because I really think it will improve the essay.)

hope it helped.