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"Studio Art with Mr. Fee" - a person who has had a significant influence on you


dvegaortiz 3 / 4  
Dec 25, 2010   #1
Most people would say their parents, a family member or friend has had a significant influence on them. I'd say my art teacher, Brian Fee, has had a significant influence on me.

Entering the High School for Arts & Business, I'd either had to take art or business for my high school years. I've always been interested in art but at the time I was leaning more into business and mathematics, so I chose business. My freshmen year I did not take an art class but since it was required I knew I'd have to take it eventually. Sophomore year arrives and Studio Art with Mr. Fee was on my program, most of my schoolmates loved Mr. Fee and agreed he was an amazing teacher. Eventually I found out they were right.

...

-I would love some feedback and proofediting
thank you in advance!
onimpulse 2 / 17  
Dec 25, 2010   #2
My first impression is that it is rather short. Other than that, grammar!

Most people would say their parents, a family member or friend has had a significant influence on them. I'd say my art teacher, Brian Fee, has had a significant influence on me.Generally, I don't believe this is a great way to begin an essay.

Entering the High School for Arts & Business, I'd either had to take art or business for the duration of? my high school years. I've always been interested in art but at the time I was leaning more intotoward business and mathematics, so I chose business. My freshmenfreshman year I did not take an art class, but since it was required I knew I'd have to take itone eventually. Sophomore year arrivesarrived and Studio Art with Mr. Fee was on my program; most of my schoolmates loved Mr. Fee and agreed he was an amazing teacher. Eventually, I found out they were right.

Taking Studio Art made me realize how much I really do love art. I'veI had taken art classes before in middle school and elementary school but never have aI seen a teacher or person like Mr. Fee thatwho was truly passionate about it. Never once did he put down anyone's artwork or toldtell them to give up.H e made everything seem beautiful, even the mistakes in them . He saw everything as art. Throughout the school days I couldn't wait to attend my last period class and learn something new about art , draw something new, create something new, or imagine something new. By the end of the semester I loved art, I immediately switched from business to art. Almost every semester from then on I gotNot a particularly sophisticated word choice... Mr. Fee as my art teacher. He taught me the basics, from the complementary colors to different painting techniques, so as to let me create beautiful artwork?to create a beautiful painting. However, my most favorite class of his is the one I'm currently taking - ApAP Art History. Not only did Mr. Fee improve my art skills, but he taught me the reasons why certain artworksworks of art were created and the history behind them.

Now I see everything in a new perspective. I've become even more intrigued inby art, not only for designing purposes but for history and the way the world is. I walk down the street and I view everything as a picture or painting: the way the light hits a building or the different shades of blue the sky has. The types of architecture the houses around me use or the building in the city has. Each building and artwork created has a purpose and history to it. I want to be part of that. Mr. Fee taught me that art is everywhere and how I can create it. His love for art has influenced me into my future career, as an architect.inspired me to become an architect?
OP dvegaortiz 3 / 4  
Dec 26, 2010   #3
thank you for the advice and proofreading! i have edited much more and added more to it :

Entering the High School for Arts & Business, I'd either had to take art or business for all four years. I've always been interested in art but at the time I was leaning more towards business and mathematics, so I chose business. My freshman year I did not take an art class, but since it was required I knew I'd have to take one eventually. Sophomore year arrived and Studio Art with Mr. Fee was on my program; most of my schoolmates loved Mr. Fee and agreed he was an amazing teacher. Eventually I found out they were right.

Taking Studio Art made me realize how much I really do love art. Something I considered a hobby turned into something much more. I had taken art classes before in middle school and elementary school, but never have I seen a teacher or person like Mr. Fee who was truly passionate about it. He was a painter as well as an art teacher. Never once did he put down anyone's artwork or tell them to give up. He saw everything as art. He made everything seem beautiful, even mistakes or what people would normally call boring. Throughout the school days I couldn't wait to attend my last period class and learn something new, draw something new, create something new, or imagine something new. By the end of the semester I loved art, I immediately switched from business to art. Almost every semester from then on I received an art class taught by Mr. Fee. He taught me the basics and more, from the complementary colors to different painting techniques to digital photography. However, my favorite class of his is the one I'm currently taking - AP Art History. Not only has Mr. Fee improved my art skills, but he is expanding my knowledge on the history of art. I've become fascinated about the different art works around the world; their styles, their purposes and materials used. Mr. Fee opened my eyes, there was so much more to art than just painting a pretty picture, and much more to life.

Now I see everything in a new perspective. I've become even more intrigued by art, not only for designing purposes but for history and the way the world is. I walk down the street and view everything as a picture or painting: the way the light hits a building or the different shades of blue the sky has. I look at the buildings in the city and recognize what type of architecture was used, whether it was post and lintel or vaults. Each building and artwork created has a purpose and history to it. Someone took the time to plan it out and create it. I want to be part of that. This year I ultimately knew that I had to pursue a career in something I love. I think what influenced me the most in my decision, besides my improved skills and knowledge, was one thing Mr. Fee had said; he told me he never regretted becoming an art teacher or painter. He never seemed miserable or unsatisfied at work or doing what he does, he actually loves waking up and going to work. It is because it is something he loves, and doing something you love is absolute happiness. Mr. Fee taught me so much more besides art, he taught me the key to happiness. His love for art has inspired me to pursue a career in architecture.
OP dvegaortiz 3 / 4  
Dec 27, 2010   #4
i would love some feed and proofediting on the final draft
-thank you in advance


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