Topic: 5. Please explain in some detail your purpose in studying at Seoul National University and your plans for study. Be as specific as you can regarding your academic interests and the curriculum you expect to follow in achieving your goals.
Just fifty years ago, Korea was nicknamed the "bottomless pit' by the USAID (US government aid agency) and was categorized as one of the poorest countries in the world with the average Korean citizen earning $82 yearly in 1961, less than half the yearly income an average citizen earns today from the poverty-strick country of Ghana. What would your reaction have been had you been told that Ghana would become one of the top globalized countries in 50 years as the world's leading exporters of mobile phones, semiconductors, and computers? Korea has done exactly that; it has transformed from rags to riches exponentially, multiplying its per capita income over duodecuple times. It took the UK over two centuries, the US, one and a half century, to obtain the same result. This miraculous revolution was channeled with a thorough strategic version of the free market system under neo-liberal economics that encouraged low inflation, free trade, private enterprise, small government, and incorporation of foreign investments. It is by no surprise, then, that South Koreans stand proud of their country today, united by the history that has shed too many tears and blood to reach their current status, but the development does not end here and the world has yet to see the apex of Korea's global power. Korea is still on the rise as it has only recently entered this game field of global commerce. In the midst of this action-packed developmental stage of Korea, I became intrigued by the potential and bright future prospects of Korea. Raised in America for a majority of my life, I have been culturally and socially immersed by the American traditions. Only after I entered high school did I begin to rediscover the fascination and beauty of my homecountry, and became naturally engrossed in the political influence, especially those under President Park Chung-Hee, on the national economic growth and business industries and enterprises to initiate trade and economic advancements. I began to read documentaries on Korean economic development and the distinct political and economic strategies taken to juxtapose them with that of current third world countries in process to achieve a similar product. Through researches, I came to acknowledge that, with the rapid progression of globalization, international laws that govern global commerce and trade would inevitably become an essential foundation in economical advancement of any and all countries. My interest has initiated my desire to attend business school at Seoul National University and then to continue my education in America through the law-mba duel programs offered in several prestigious colleges. What Korea needs (and will soon require) are graduates who are culturally, academically, and socially adapted to not only the Korean business realm but also that of America in both the field of international law and business. Korea has experienced great success, but it would be a mistake to overlook that Korea is still relatively a new to the power gang where other members are experienced and well familiar with the rules. America still holds the crown to this control of global powers, and it is vital to understand in details the American international law and business in order to successfully execute global commercial decisions with strategic international business negotiator with the foundation of international law to eventually climb higher steps. I expect to become this contribution to the ever-growing success of my mothercountry and to serve as an asset to further immerse Korea in the globalization as one of the top world leaders through legal and commercial means. As the most recognized Korean university around the world, Seoul National University would open many doors of opportunity to convert my dreams into reality. Many of the SNU alumni serve in government positions and such network would provide better insight into the world of Korean political conditions and systems. In addition, SNU business classes are taught by professors who have studied abroad in America and would be able to provide personal experiences and advices to further my knowledge in my specific interest. To express the depth of my interest in this field, I am scheduled to travel to South Africa in November of 2012 for a four-month internship for a hands-on experience in the field of democracy advocacy in the South African government and assisting in governmental agencies in the human rights department. I will be designing a portfolio during my internship and would be delighted to present my findings and legal research upon request. I am certain that I am both mentally and academically ready to be academically challenged at the SNU Business School that would not only provide one of the world's best educations but would also carve paths for me to be exposed to the Korean cultural and social traditions that are vital in the business world.
First, break this into paragraphs so it's easier to read.
the US, one and a half century,
^centuries
current status, but the development
^status; but the...
for a majority of my life,
^for THE majority..
I began to read documentaries
^Read documents...or watch documentaries?
Through researches,
^research or researching?
of any and all countries. My interest has initiated my
^begin new paragraph after countries.
To express the depth of my interest in this field, I am scheduled to travel to South Africa in November of 2012 for a four-month internship for a hands-on experience in the field of democracy advocacy in the South African government and assisting in governmental agencies in the human rights department.
^Wow! Sounds like it will be a truly amazing experience for you.
Overall, your essay sounds extremely intelligent. As a reader without knowledge of these concepts I could only help slightly with grammar. My main suggestion is to break into paragraphs to make it easier to read. After writing a suggestion in this box, it was frustrating to try to find where I left off. The essay is very well written though and you really show that this is what you want. I wish you the best of luck in your acceptance!
