Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?
Since I was a young boy I've known engineering is right for me. Starting from my liking of building Lego, I discovered through my youth I enjoy combining and dismantling in a creative manner. I used to examine meticulously any apparatus that caught my attention, always trying to comprehend how it worked. I also have shown interest in solving problems that involve creative thinking and, naturally, numbers. (One reason I joined the Math Olympics Club). Moreover, I have always been interested in science, intrigued by nature's phenomenons, and finding solutions to the endless problems that may present. I will never satiate my desire to discover and acquire a broader understanding of our world, so a university that allows me to incorporate research since the beginning of my undergraduate studies is a perfect match for me.
By studying Mechanical Engineering and Applied Mechanics at the University of Pennsylvania I will acquire the necessary principles in applied math and sciences that will allow me to fulfill my desire in developing technology and I will be properly equipped to face whatever path in engineering the future has prepared for me. I also intend to study a minor either Engineering Entrepreneurship or Nanotechnology. The first because it addresses my passion for technological innovation and invention, and the second because I believe nanotechnology can be employed to help the environment and I would like to participate in its development.
Also, as there are plenty of undergraduate research opportunities available for engineering, I can picture myself getting involved into a dozen of different areas. However, if possible I want to involve in projects that engage technological innovation for the sake of the environment, since I've always thought I could focus my yearning to study engineering into helping the environment. I already do small things to help, such as saving water and electricity and volunteering for reforestation in my community, but I think only by combining the things I like with my desire to help the environment I will be able to properly contribute in making this world a better place.
As well as actively taking part in research, I would also enjoy participating in the various sport activities Penn has to offer its students. I don't consider myself extremely athletic, but I do enjoy competition in both individual and team disciplines (being soccer my favorite choice). I have participated in official tournaments of soccer and Hadong Gumdo (Korean Sword Martial Art), so I consider myself capable of being on a varsity team representing Penn, although I can also see myself taking part of the intramural sports available at the campus, as I always take pleasure in playing sports just for the fun of doing so and not worrying seriously for the outcome. Besides, it's always great to have different opportunities to meet new people. (Joining a recreational sport group such as the Parkour & Free Running Club would also be a possibility for me).
Furthermore, considering the cultural variety of Penn, I will have the opportunity to share my own multi-cultural heritage (Mexican, German and Spanish) while I learn from cultural values and ideas of different countries, helping me gain a boarder perspective of the world and preparing me to face its complexity. In addition, by joining the multicultural student group for Latinos I'll have the opportunity to know students with my same cultural background and I will be able to retain my own cultural values.
Please critique my essay. Enlgish isn't my native tounge. I think my first paragraph isn't well connected to the rest of the essay.
I think you should include some examples of activities by researching the UPenn website. Browse around and find some that fit your essay well. For example some academic courses (14 Thermodynamics) and some extracurricular activity...perhaps a solar car team?
Otherwise, really well written.