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success is not only for those who get the best chances- value i strongly believe


lidiaep 1 / 1  
Dec 5, 2013   #1
Hi everyone, please help me with my essay. This essay is made to complete my application for NTU Singapore Scholarship.> Describe, in less than 300 words, the values and beliefs you hold strongly to. Please provide examples of how you have demonstrated these in your actions.

I believe that successful people are not always those who get the best opportunities, but those who make right decisions with choices they have. Like playing poker, it's not always the player having the best cards who win, but the one who puts the right cards on every turns he has.

I think i got an example that fit this well. Once, i had two seniors in my high school which are brilliant, well behaved, and both of them joined chemistry olympiad class. One of them decided to focus on the olympiad things in the second year and focus on the other subjects on the first year as it should be but one of them took the risk on the other subjects by focusing on the olympiad things since the first year. What happened in the end? The one who took the risk was the one who got the gold medal in national chemistry olympiad while obtaining good scores on the other subjects as good as the one who focused on school in the first year, because he could catch up on the other subjects after the olympiad finished. His decision to take the risk was right, and it brought him better opportunities than others got.

I, too, took the risk by focusing on the olympiad things since the first year. I think i made the right decision as i still could catch up the other subjects while at the same time, got opportunities not only to learn chemistry deeper than others, but also to learn that life is about making decisions.

I'm sure that joining NTU is a right decision. I can get a better opportunity and get a better future.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 6, 2013   #2
Good advice by RashedMohamed!

I believe that successuccess not always for those who get the best chances but for those who can make the right decisions on every choices they have.

I believe that successful people are not always those who get the best opportunities, but those who make right decisions with the choices they have.

I saw them fail and successucceed, fall and shine, and iI learned from them that although it is the God who controllscontrols our life, we always have choices whether to turn our lifes into something better or something worse
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 10, 2013   #3
it's not always the player having the best cards who win, but the one who puts the right cards on every turns he has.

It's not always the one having the best cards who wins, but the one who throws the right card on the table in every turn.

I think i got an example that fit this well.

.... this sentence does not serve any purpose. Better you leave it out.

Once, i had two seniors in my high school which are brilliant, well behaved, and both of them joined chemistry olympiad class.

.... this sentence needs imporvement;
There were two brilliant and well mannered seniors in my high school who joined the Chemistry Olympiad class with me.

One of them decided to focus on the olympiad things in the second year and focus on the other subjects on the first year as it should be but one of them took the risk on the other subjects by focusing on the olympiad things since the first year.

This sentence is too very long and sounds confusing. Break it up to contain one idea per sentence.
OP lidiaep 1 / 1  
Dec 10, 2013   #4
Thank you very much :) I need to submit it soon, is there other grammatical errors to be fixed? I'm sure that joining NTU is a right decision. I would be very glad if I could use my ability in chemistry to create something beneficial not only for myself but also for society. No doubt that NTU is the right place.


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