'Successful godmother of mine' - UT AUSTIN FRESHMAN ESSAY A

I am applying to the University of Texas at Austin and I need help with essay topic A. The prompt is
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

I am writing about my godmother. She comes from a successful family, but she does not act like it. She has overcome alcoholism (she became an alcoholic after her mother's death but has been sober for 3 years) and beaten her smoking addiction. A throughout my childhood she made sure that I had a true family environment for me to escape to, especially when my parents were fighting.

That is just a bit of information about her. I am having trouble putting this into essay form. Could someone please help me?

I am writing about my godmother. She comes from a successful family, but she does not act like it. She has overcome alcoholism (she became an alcoholic after her mother's death but has been sober for 3 years) and beaten her smoking addiction. A throughout my childhood she made sure that I had a true family environment for me to escape to, especially when my parents were fighting.

Hi :) What you have written is a good start, and you have decided on a person to write your essay all about. However, many many people write this type of essay about a family member, so in order to make it really "stand out" you may want to consider a different person to write about (A mentor, teacher, public figure) By choosing a more unique topic, it may help prevent your paper from getting "lost in the shuffle" If you decide to continue writing about your godmother, then be sure to include a few things: What about her is so special, and exactly how did she influence you, and how is this influence going to effect your future. What lessons have you learned from her, and how did these lessons shape you as a person. I hope this helps! Good luck in school!