Please help me improve this essay! I would very much appreciate it!
MITE is a UofMichigan Summer Program for Introduction to Tech/Engineering
Please provide a 500 word typed essay stating why you wish to participate in the MITE program. Address how your participation in this program will assist you in your future goals and objectives.
During my younger years, I was enamored with the childlike notion that my father was Superman. He seemed so powerful, as if the computer he held in his hands opened the portal to a whole new world of possibility. The casual strokes of his hands upon the matte keyboard seemed perfectly timed and executed, like the rhythm of a world-class marching band. The blinding white text against the black screen spoke volumes, though of no language I could understand. As I grew older, while the concepts became clearer and easier to grasp, I still retained that same curious fire that so attracted me to engineering in the first place. Engineers are the magicians of today, using the world of logic and science to solve the world's problems. As the adage goes, to the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Technology and engineering have always been some of my passions, and MITE will provide much needed exposure to these fields. Though engineering is a field I have little experience in, the opportunity at MITE will help me get hands-on experience. My future goals include earning a degree in an engineering-related field and applying this engineering practice to help combat the proliferation and lethality of disease. Through engineering and its related practices, I can help make the world a better place.
My dad was a major influence in my decision to pursue this career path. He works as a computer consultant, a former computer engineer. Growing up with his guiding presence aided my development of a love of technology. With a computer in my hands and a high-speed Internet connection, I explored the online universe, devouring the new information I had at my disposal.
With the help of my father, I recognized that engineering is my ideal vocation. Engineering is a field in which I will thrive. I am a researcher and an investigator; I enjoy questioning the authenticity of ideas before accepting them. I thrive in a contentious environment because it forces me to constantly improve my qualities and justify my positions. In engineering, ideas are constantly being proposed, refined, and implemented. By studying engineering, I will be able to use my skills and creativity to solve the problems facing humanity. I also wish to pursue engineering as a way to fully devote my talents to society. From elementary school onward, I have been adept in learning and applying mathematical concepts both inside and out of school. I easily grasp concepts and ideas, and the challenge of new material is all part of the excitement for me. The education I will gain with the MITE program will not only be useful for my future profession, but vital throughout my life. Studying engineering and technology at MITE will provide me with a stable starting ground for my transition to the real world.
This is extremely well written! I'm honestly impressed! Is this for a High School summer program?
My only critique would to possibly more directly address the prompt in the second-to-last and last paragraph. Perhaps you can talk about how the MITE program will help refine your interests? You mention combating disease so perhaps a reference to exploring bio-engineering would be nice? I'm not sure how in depth you want to go but you could also possibly look into which Professors teach during the MITE course and make a reference to one of their areas of research which interests you.
Overall good work, particular impressed if you are a high school student still!