"Super Babysitter"- Common App Short Answer

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer).

You can call me Super Babysitter. Its been five years and 23 families, yet I refuse to retire. I couldn't have done it without my trusty sidekick, Mama Babysitter, who uses her Kindergarten teacher powers to scope out desperate victims in need of an escape from the whirlwind of stress their children have imposed on them. From exploding science experiments to interesting dinner creations to Mad Lib bedtime stories, I've done it all. Each child has had a powerful impact on me. There is nothing like the look of relief on a parent's face when I give my reassurance that everything went smoothly and their hyperactive children are sound asleep. The crinkling of fresh 20 dollar bills as they enter my wallet is just an added bonus. "Super Babysitter to the rescue!" I think every time I start up the engine to the Super Babysitter Mobile. It's just what I do.

What do you think?

Each child has had a powerful impact on me. There is nothing like the look of relief on a parent's face when I give my reassurance that everything went smoothly and their hyperactive children are sound asleep-this line really stood up above all the others. Perhaps edit the essay to expand more on how babysitting has impacted you with responsibility, patience, etc.

I wanted to do that but I can't figure out what I should change in order for it to fit, since I have such a small word limit. Any suggestions?

You can call me Super Babysitter. It' s been five years and 23 families, yet I refuse to retire. [ I couldn't have done it without my trusty sidekick, Mama Babysitter, who uses her Kindergarten teacher powers to scope out desperate victims in need of an escape from the whirlwind of stress their children have imposed on them.] I suggest deleting this sentence because of the 150 word limit. Use the extra words to discuss more about how babysitting has impacted you. From exploding science experiments to interesting dinner creations to Mad Lib bedtime stories, I've done it all. Each child has had a powerful impact on me. There is nothing like the look of relief on a parent's face when I give my reassurance that everything went smoothly and their hyperactive children are sound asleep. The crinkling of fresh 20 dollar bills as they enter my wallet is just an added bonus. "Super Babysitter to the rescue!" I think every time I start up the engine to the Super Babysitter Mobile. It's just what I do.

I really love your description of babysitting, you make it seem so exciting! At the same time though, how has babysitting affected you in terms of growth, etc? Try to delete unnecessary words or details so that you can write more about the "effect". Good luck!

*Edit: For example, "Each child has had a powerful impact on me." How?

The details of your babysitting experience, such as the family count and the activities you do, are quite fitting. It adds interest to your essay. However, you mention impact but you don't elaborate...you should do that! If babysitting meant that you want a career with kids then you should say it :). Best of luck.