159 words or fewer
This is a strange cutoff point! :-)
Hey, Maretta, you are great!! This is a good, thorough edit...
If you write
Upon first entering the group, ...
you have to write something YOU did upon first entering...
Upon first entering the group, the I campaigned for presidency during the Honors society's leadership elections...
For the last part, instead of talking about the skills it enabled you to develop you might want to talk about something that drives you, something that you envision for your future, and how this excellent experience reflects that drive -- which is also what is driving you to apply to this school.