I have to choose three essays, and I've wrote four so far
Please help me with grammar and choosing which three should be sent to College!!
Any opinions are welcome!!
1. Secret place essay.
Every Sunday at New Haven church after I play the piano for the morning praise and opening hymn, the youth group of our church has to leave the nave and wait for the youth group pastor right before the choir performs. My passion in music doesn't allow me to miss the choir, so instead of going straight to the meeting, I go to my special place -the church attic. Nobody uses this place now, yet the place is perfect to listen to the choir performing underneath.
As I stand there listening to the choir, I look back and confess about the past week, and pray for the well being of upcoming week. I was always too shy to pray and speak out loud next to people, but in this place I can speak whatever I want. This little room becomes my own secret chapel for ten minutes until the choir is done with their song.
2. Introduction to new course essay
The name of the course would be: The Guidelines to the Sensible Life. This course is designed for the enriching life of Notre Dame students. Specifically, the course will cover three general parts of one's life; the college life, working life, and social life. The course will require students to make thorough profiles of life's ordeals, and the professor will teach students how to deal with those events wisely. For example, the course will teach students how to survive from hardcore party, how to refuse friends' excessive request without hurting their feelings, or even how to revenge on the annoying boss without getting caught. These guidelines are essential for the successful life especially in this time period because people these days are highly social and emotional. Most colleges would rather focus more on knowledge-based intelligence, but emotional intelligences are significant in today's society. This course will guarantee Notre Dame students' smooth social life during and after college.
4. When you surprised other people or yourself by doing some thing unexpected
I was shocked when I found out that one of my important immigration forms was missing from my folder when the airplane landed on the JFK airport. I could be sent back to Korea, but that was not the reason why I was surprised. I was surprised at myself because I realized that I hadn't grown up since elementary school. I was only an immature ninth grader entering a foreign country with no families or friends around to depend on. I realized that it was time for me to grow up. At the airport security office, I did my best to explain everything with my short English. l asked to make a phone call to the immigration agency in Korea to see if I could get the document by fax. After listening to my long explanation and waiting for the fax, the officer nodded and banged the green stamp on my visa at last. As I stepped on the other side of the glass door of JFK airport, I was surprised at myself once again because I felt myself growing up.
They are rough draft. So I need a lot of help!!
Especially grammar!! English is not my first language!!
Please help me with grammar and choosing which three should be sent to College!!
Any opinions are welcome!!
1. Secret place essay.
Every Sunday at New Haven church after I play the piano for the morning praise and opening hymn, the youth group of our church has to leave the nave and wait for the youth group pastor right before the choir performs. My passion in music doesn't allow me to miss the choir, so instead of going straight to the meeting, I go to my special place -the church attic. Nobody uses this place now, yet the place is perfect to listen to the choir performing underneath.
As I stand there listening to the choir, I look back and confess about the past week, and pray for the well being of upcoming week. I was always too shy to pray and speak out loud next to people, but in this place I can speak whatever I want. This little room becomes my own secret chapel for ten minutes until the choir is done with their song.
2. Introduction to new course essay
The name of the course would be: The Guidelines to the Sensible Life. This course is designed for the enriching life of Notre Dame students. Specifically, the course will cover three general parts of one's life; the college life, working life, and social life. The course will require students to make thorough profiles of life's ordeals, and the professor will teach students how to deal with those events wisely. For example, the course will teach students how to survive from hardcore party, how to refuse friends' excessive request without hurting their feelings, or even how to revenge on the annoying boss without getting caught. These guidelines are essential for the successful life especially in this time period because people these days are highly social and emotional. Most colleges would rather focus more on knowledge-based intelligence, but emotional intelligences are significant in today's society. This course will guarantee Notre Dame students' smooth social life during and after college.
4. When you surprised other people or yourself by doing some thing unexpected
I was shocked when I found out that one of my important immigration forms was missing from my folder when the airplane landed on the JFK airport. I could be sent back to Korea, but that was not the reason why I was surprised. I was surprised at myself because I realized that I hadn't grown up since elementary school. I was only an immature ninth grader entering a foreign country with no families or friends around to depend on. I realized that it was time for me to grow up. At the airport security office, I did my best to explain everything with my short English. l asked to make a phone call to the immigration agency in Korea to see if I could get the document by fax. After listening to my long explanation and waiting for the fax, the officer nodded and banged the green stamp on my visa at last. As I stepped on the other side of the glass door of JFK airport, I was surprised at myself once again because I felt myself growing up.
They are rough draft. So I need a lot of help!!
Especially grammar!! English is not my first language!!
