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'Sweat to Success' - Common App Short Answer Essay



babji 1 / 1  
Aug 26, 2012   #1
Hi everyone. I don't know if you need a creative title for this Short Answer essay for common app or not but please help if you do! I'm not sure mine's creative.

The Common Application short answer essay prompt states, "Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum)."

So here's my essay, and please be harsh as possible! In addition, I've read many essays online and in books to help me prepare, so if this reminds you of someone else's work online or anything please do tell, so that I may rewrite it. I plan on sending this essay early to U-M, and Stanford!

Also, I need help cutting out about 100 characters in this essay! I didn't realize spaces counted! I tried as much as possible but just can't get lower:

The sizzling sun beats down on my face. I can feel drops of sweat rolling down my dimpled cheeks. Some splash to the clay. Some descend into the corner of my mouth. Salty. My eyelids drooping. Heart racing. I breathe heavily. Briefly, the clay court seems to fade in front of me. "Concentrate under the ball," my coach hollers. I could see the ball speeding towards me. I eye the bottom of it, bring my racquet back and brush up under it. In a blink, I see the ball floating back to me. Low and near the net. Sprinting, I extend my racquet and dive to barely hit it. My body is soaked in a mucky mixture of clay and sweat. I look up. It edges the line on the other side. "Again," yells my coach. My wrist aches. Toes blistered. I want to shut my eyes and feel the gentle breeze brush against my face. But that isn't me. Instantly, I'm back on the balls of my feet. Backhand. Dropshot. Again! That's the key to success. No pain, no gain. Hours of training daily and still tiring to reach my potential. I go home to refuel myself just to get back on the court later. No mercy. After all, success is 99% sweat and 1% skill.

Be as harsh as possible like I said before!

admission2012 - / 475  
Aug 27, 2012   #2
Hello Babji,

Just review the essay forums here. How many times has this same type of descriptive essay about "No Pain No Gain" been written? I counted at least four times in less than a month. If you extrapolate that, imagine how many times other applicants will also write a similar essay. It gets really boring really quick for the admissions team. Try to be as unique as possible. Think outside the box. Do not copy essays from a forum or book because everyone else is doing that. We make sure all essays are unique and amazing. Otherwise the essay is fine, but it is certainly not unique.

Hope this helps
Doom 13 / 36  
Aug 27, 2012   #3
my suggestion: take something unique from your life and write about that. It can be anything whether it be something monumental or seemingly insignificant. Just consider how many people are going to write about sports and games and in particular, how hard work pays off. Its extremely cliched. Be original. Your writing demonstrates your a good writer, but to get into those elite universities you are going to have to write about something more original.
OP babji 1 / 1  
Aug 28, 2012   #4
Okay thanks alot Kevin, but isn't my essay unique. Obviously people are going to have the same ideas but not the way my essay is set up!

Like what you say is more original, because obviously it is only limited to my extra cirrc activities right?


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