"swimming is so much more than a sport", Common App - 150 words or less answer

This is me explaining my most meaningful activity for the Common App short answer - right now it's 151 words. I feel the first half is sufficient, but that the second half is rather lacking...any suggestions/criticisms please? thanks (:

To me, swimming is so much more than a sport. It is my way of life. I live for the pool with all its chlorinated glory, and for the past seven years, the YMCA has been a second home and family to me. Six days a week, sixteen hours a week, my lungs burn at practice as my body screams for me to stop but my minds yells louder for me to push through. This daily routine has taught me that hard work and determination lead to the fulfillment of goals, a truly life-lasting lesson. But more importantly, the sport has given me the true definition of teamwork. My teammates push me past my limits in practice and cheer me on as I achieve my goals. Without them, I would not be the accomplished swimmer I am; they are my closest friends and the reason why I swim.

You definitely have a nag for writing, but when some one has a large amount of short answer questions they are stressing "short" one word over will probably be fine but if all of your answers are over the limit the examiner might start to not like you. The more they like you the better you do.

If you really feel that the end is lacking than take it out and include something about learning from your coach and how you can be a good listener and follower; but also include something about leading others.

Always stress leading more than following or participating.

Alright thank you so much!

Ha ha, it is knock, not nag. Nag is what my mother does.

The first sentence was a run on sentence:
To me, swimming is so much more than a sport. It is my way of life.

I live for the pool with all its chlorinated glory,------ woo hooo!! Kevin stands up and cheers...

... while I surpass my goals. --- I think you accomplish goals and surpass obstacles. If you surpass a goal.. that seems wrong.

Without them, I could not be where I am----- which is where, exactly?

Wow, I really love chlorinated glory, hahahaha... nice...

It's "knack," I think.

Wow, Ershad, good looking out. I just noticed this thread after another one where you acknowledged what a mess I am.

So... yes, it's "knack"... that's what I meant!

Haha, nag, knock, knack...glad we figured it out. Thank you both for your advice - I've tweaked my answer around a bit and I think this is my final draft, could you please proofread it one last time? thanks in advance (:

No need for the comma after "years"

I like every sentence of this paragraph!

i think it'd be more effective if you just started with, "swimming's not a sport to me. it's a way of life."

besides that, i think every sentence is very well crafted and powerful. really like the "lungs burning" sentence, too. :)