SYRACUSE SHORT ANSWER SUPPLEMENT QUESTIONS, check grammar and what not

1. Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?

I must admit that there is no miraculous story or some sign from above that influenced me to apply to Syracuse University, the major force that influenced me to apply to Syracuse was my brother in law. ----- ------ is the man of the house, he is my sister's husband and he commands respect with every action he makes. I respect him very much and that is why he played such an important role in my application to Syracuse. ----- knew that I was on a college search that mainly focused on civil engineering, during an ordinary Sunday breakfast with the family he asked me about my college search and how it was going, to which I replied with many answers and a tone of uncertainty as to if he would approve to any of the colleges I had mentioned. He nodded his head and asked me if I had looked into Syracuse and it's LC Smith College of Engineering program, he spoke highly of it and even added that they had an outstanding basketball team, which appealed to my basketball love. Long story short, I fell in love with Syracuse and the engineering program it offered, and now I'm here applying and hoping to join the Syracuse family.

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

There is an endless list of people who have achieved greatness and that I personally look up to, but I must say I can only dream of being a better version of myself. I look up to others to help me become that which I admire, which I strongly believe Syracuse University can help me become. Madison Square Garden went through renovations this past summer, the hard work put in by the engineers, architects, and other workers was exposed through a MSG network special which showed the garden transformed. My future and ultimate goal is to become a civil engineer and to be part of a project that will affect peoples lives and create memories, maybe even to such a scale as that of the work put in by the engineers of Madison Square Garden. I believe that the training provided to the students of the LC Smith College of Engineering, and the hard work I can put in, can help me be part of major projects and become the successful person I want to be.

3. If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?

I have only had one job that has supplied me with real world experience, and that was being a scanning boy for a lawyer. I had just finished my first year in high school and working was the last thing on my mind, but nonetheless I got a job that at times felt somewhat stressful. The lawyer I worked for was very demanding of even the simplest task as scanning documents. Her constant demands and strictness around the office built up my character and gave me a glimpse of what a real working environment feels like. At times she even gave me new responsibilities, such as answering the phones when her secretary was out to lunch. Not only did I gain a sense of responsibility, but I also got the chance to talk to the people around the office and make some connections that I still maintain today.

i hope i can help you with grammar and whatnot
I must admit that there is no miraculous story or some sign from above that influenced me to apply to Syracuse University, the major force that influenced me to apply to Syracuse was my brother in law. ----- ------ is the man of the house, he is my sister's husband and he commands respect with every action he makes. I respect him very much and that is why he played such an important role in my application to Syracuse. ----- knew that I was on a college search that mainly focused on civil engineering, ...Long story short, I fell in love with Syracuse and the engineering program it offered, and now I'm hereand so, here i am applying and hoping to join the Syracuse family.

seems kind of bland, any other, more personal reasons?

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

Madison Square Garden went through renovations this past summer, the hard work put in by the engineers, architects, and other workers was exposed through a MSG network special which showed the garden transformed. My future and ultimate goal is to become a civil engineer and to be part of a project that will affect peoples lives and create memories, maybe even to such a scale as that of the work put in by the engineers of Madison Square Garden. I believe that the training provided to the students of the LC Smith College of Engineering, and the hard work I can put in, can help me be part of major projects and become the successful person I want to be.There is an endless list of people who have achieved greatness and that I personally look up to, but I must say I can only dream of being a better version of myself. I look up to others to help me I strongly believe Syracuse University can help mebecome that which I admire (achieve admirable status? or maybe achieve admirable traits?). (yes okay, but how? i think they want details about their programs here)

3. If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?

this is written okay but i think they want skills/knowledge that will be significant in life. answering the phone is important but maybe you should try to milk it here or make up some people-skills you learned.