Syracuse University - I knew that this school was everything and more than what I dreamt of.

Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?
From the second I saw the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications on the list of the top 10 communications programs in the country, I was interested. Personally, it would be a dream come true to walk the footsteps that Dick Clark, Mike Tirico, and many other notable alumni once walked. Syracuse has a long and remarkable list of alumni and connections and I would love to be able to call myself one of them one day.

As I researched more and more about Syracuse, I knew that it was the right fit for me. When I visited the campus in late September, I knew that this school was everything and more than what I dreamt of. As I walked around the campus, I not only thought about how beautiful it was but how welcoming everybody was. It really hit home to me that I was departing for college in just a few short months, but I knew that at Syracuse I would be welcomed right in and I would feel as if I was back home.

I also had attended a Newhouse information session held at The Lubin House in New York City in October. As Dean Lorraine Branham informed us more and more about this school, it reassured me that Syracuse is the place that I want to be at for the next four years of my life. The opportunities that the Newhouse School gives is a true blessing to all the students and it would be an honor to be able to, one day, say "I attended Syracuse University's Newhouse School of Public Communications."

Is this just a short-essay response or is this supposed to be more of a Statement of Purpose? If you're just answering a short-essay for an undergraduate application I think it's fairly decent. The quotes definitely strengthen your essay, a few critiques:

" but I knew that at Syracuse I would be welcomed right in and I would feel as if I was back home." and I would feel right at home?

"I also had attended a Newhouse information session held at The Lubin House in New York City in October." I also attended..

Thank you so much! And it isn't an official supplement, it's more of a personal statement, it's in the 'other information' part of Syracuse's questions.

Okay, if it is simply a supplemental question I think you're doing well! Maybe have someone double-check the grammar and syntax to be safe but it looks alright to me. I think you have a nice flow and convincing reasoning.

John, your statement is good but in my opinion, very generic in content. The influence that you should have discussed in this case, since you chose the school itself, should have been more specific. A discussion of the academic aspect of the school in relation to your major would have been in order. Discussing how you are familiar with the course syllabus for your course and look forward to attending classes by specific mentors at the university would have been a nice touch. Then of course, a more specific presentation of how the student community and its activities influenced you during your visit to the university would have been better than the simple interest that you show now. Talk about some of the student activities that caught your interest and how the well balanced academic and social activities of the school will help you ensure that you excel in both fields as you develop your professional traits.

Try to address this essay as seriously as possible even though it is only an additional essay in your app package. Remember, every essay you fill out, if written properly and with the serious intention of getting admitted, helps with your consideration as a candidate.

I agree with Vangiespan in that it is generic.

"I knew that this school was everything and more than what I dreamt of." - elaborating on what aspects specifically you dreamt of would make it more specific to the school. Maybe the students are different from those attending other schools - something like that. Hone in on an aspect unique to the school and elaborate on that.

Cheers,