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'Taking charge of whatever I do to realize my potential' - UCF admission



maggers777 2 / 2  
Sep 26, 2012   #1
OK here is the prompt:

Essay: The personal statements are a very important part of your application. They assist the university in knowing you as an individual, independent of test scores and other objective data. We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer than a total of 500 words or 7000 characters for both statements combined. The best personal statements are not necessarily the longest ones.

If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?
Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?

I choose 1 and 4. I know you are busy so thank you for grammatically reviewing this but could you also tell me if they are structurally ok and if it is a good topic/idea? Thank you so much!

1. Last year I entered junior year of the International Baccalaureate program at my high school. Seniors and teachers alike had warned me how academically challenging and rigorous it would be should I choose to stay in the program. I took their advice into account, but I had no idea how unprepared I was. That year was the most stressful time ever in my years of schooling. It was very different from the past two years of the IB experience, and the rigorous workload was a big shock for me to handle. At the time I was involved in volleyball , work, volunteering, and other extra curriculars and I was not balancing it all very well. There were so many times that I broke down and just wanted to quit. In highly stressful situations I tend to get anxiety attacks because my nervous system is constantly running on high and I became extremely nervous under high workload conditions. This hindered me greatly in my struggle to complete the coursework and attain my IB diploma. However, I kept going and slowly, very slowly, I started to improve. I learned to study more efficiently , and to manage my time between all aspects of my life evenly. By the end of the year I had managed to raise the grades in all of my classes to A's and B's. I also found ways to combat my panic attacks by taking up activities such as running to reduce my stress levels. Now I am a senior IB candidate who expects to gain my IB diploma in May.

4. Overall, I am glad to have participated in the IB program because it has taught me so much about myself and the world, ideas that I believe could be a great addition if I am accepted into UCF. I have come to be a much stronger person, both academically and in my personal life because of IB. It has turned me into a diligent student as well as a more well-rounded and open-minded person, and if admitted to UCF I will continue to uphold these ideals throughout my time there. Aside from my dedication to my academics, I also have passion instilled in me from the other asects of my life including the extracurriculars I participate in such as sports and leadership positions. For this reason I know that I will take charge of whatever I do and fulfill it to my greatest potential. Throughout my life challenges have been set forth to me by many different conditions, and the objectives and standards at UCF set a high ideal for me to achieve my goals and pave the way for my future.

timobxsci 4 / 11  
Oct 19, 2012   #2
1. I felt that the first few sentences of you first response was too typical.. I want some surprises or new starts if I were an adcom.


Home / Undergraduate / 'Taking charge of whatever I do to realize my potential' - UCF admission
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