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"taking a right business decision" How will you contribute to the study groups in MBA



Sri 2 / 4  
Apr 12, 2011   #1
The percentage of taking a right business decision of a diversified group is much higher than a group of people with similar attributes, background and knowledge. The simple reason being the number of ideas and more importantly the solutions which arise in a diversified group is higher.

I was born in a small village in India, first to attend an English medium school in the family and the neighbourhood. Rose to the challenge and became school captain and won many prizes in both academics and sports. My results prompted people around me to predict I will be a high academic achiever. But with the demise of my father with two younger siblings, I had to rearrange my priorities and choose a career which can secure me a job in the quickest possible time. Sacrificing a seat in computer engineering, I joined Hotel management and secured a job with a 5star hotel chain in India and arrived in the UK as an assistant manager of a restaurant in 2004 and with hard work and determination became the first General Manager among my peers.

I am local, but also international .I worked with very big multinational companies with 500 employees' onsite and managed 50 people on one shift but I also have the experience of running an organisation with just 20 personnel.

My rich experience of living and working in different countries, positions and organisations after surviving extremely challenging circumstances will add to the intellectual and otherwise diversity of the student group.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Apr 14, 2011   #2
The percentage of taking likelihood of making a right good business decision in of a diversified group is much higher than it is in a group of people with similar attributes, background and knowledge, the simple reason being the number of ideas and more importantly the solutions which arise in a diversified group is are higher.-------The sentence seems a little too long now, but I had to put the 2 sentences together to make them grammatically correct. If you say "the reason being," it has to be part of the previous sentence. It should not start a new sentence.

I am local, but also international .I worked with very big multinational companies with 500 employees' onsite and managed 50 people on one shift but I also have the experience of running an organisation with just 20 personnel.---Excellent experience, but add a sentence to the end of this paragraph to make it RELATED TO THE MAIN IDEA OF THE ESSAY. That is most important. Make it so that every paragraph helps to express one big idea, which is stated in the introduction, the main idea of the essay.

It will be great if you add a little more reflection and self analysis in this last paragraph:
My rich experience of living and working in different countries, positions and organisations after surviving extremely challenging circumstances will add to the intellectual and otherwise diversity of the student group.

:-)

Thanks for helping people so much at EF!


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