sorry, couldn't think of a good title. here's my essay for the UC prompt 2, which is as follows:
PROMPT 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Tentatively, I wait by the glass doors of Lux Art Institute, fingering the sleeve of my wine-colored sweater. Usually when there are minimal visitors I spend time in the gallery admiring the art, but today I am restless, ready to give a tour and interact with others. Many of my peers are baffled as to why I choose to spend my Friday nights in art museums rather than at parties with friends. To be honest, I feel more at home in the museum.
In junior year, I took AP Art History, a course in which I learned about art movements, examined historical events, and analyzed works of art. I was captivated by art and its fusion of intellectual stimulation and aesthetic appeal. Each day that we would study a new art-historical period, such as Surrealism, Mannerism or the Baroque, was a day to look forward to. An insatiable thirst for more knowledge began to settle in my skin, and by the end of the semester I was itching to learn more about contemporary art. Upon researching local art galleries and museums that were hiring or in need of volunteers, I became most interested in Lux Art Institute. Lux is a museum with an artist-in-residency program; an artist lives at Lux for a short period of time and creates a work of art, allowing visitors to experience the artistic process firsthand. Mesmerized by both the skill and mind of the artist in general, I was very attracted to the idea of working at Lux.
Remembering myself, I look through the window, checking for potential visitors. Several minutes later I see a mother and her three children walking toward the entrance of Lux. As they enter, I introduce myself, give them a brief overview of the history of the museum, and push open the doors of the gallery with a flourish.
As soon as I catch a glimpse of the paintings that adorn the walls of the museum, I begin telling them about the current artist-in-residence, Derrick Guild. Throughout the tour the three children give their unyielding attention to me and the paintings. We discuss how each painting made us feel, and why. And in that half hour tour, that family became more interested in art than I ever was in the first sixteen years of my life. To instill such a rich passion in someone at such a young age gave me such great happiness; that night as I laid in bed I realized that it was the teaching that I loved.
It was a love of art catalyzed by daily lectures on the Baroque and the Renaissance and deepened by these weekly shifts at Lux that brought me to consider a career in art history and education. My experiences with children and young adults at Lux Art Institute have crystallized within me a passion for teaching, something I had not anticipated upon starting my volunteer position as a docent there. The prospect of illuminating passion for a subject as vast and rich as art history drives me to teach others; to teach others I first must learn. Despite being a first-generation college student, I am confident that in my college years to come I will succeed both within and beyond the realm of academia and add meaning to the lives of others through art education.
it's still rather rough so comments, constructive criticism, and other helpful notes are greatly appreciated! thank you for your help!
This is a very well written paper. What grabs attention the most is your descriptive writing.
Tentatively, I wait by the glass doors of Lux Art Institute, fingering the sleeve of my wine-colored sweater.
-This is a good opening sentence and quickly grabs the readers attention. I feel as if you answered the prose well and in your own style of writing.
When you say tentatively, it usually refers to a plan that you may or may not follow through with, depending on what happens. It does not seem to belong here...
To be honest, I feel more at home in the museum.----> powerful reflection, here. This really helps un know you.
You have many great sentences here! It must be because you appreciate beauty and art that you write beautiful sentences.
I suggest directly answering the second half of the prompt:
I feel proud about...
I am becoming a person who...
In all papers, you should use the key words used in the instructions, and that way they see that you are methodical and clear-minded.
