"I was ten-years-old when my parents informed me.." Rochester essay

Prompt: Meliora: 'Ever better' - The University's motto, Meliora, directs our focus toward continual improvement through research, understanding, and collaborative efforts. Offer and example from your personal experience of an obstacle you faced or a problem you identified. Describe the actions you took and the result.

I was ten-years-old when my parents informed me that we were moving to America from India. My mother tried to help the situation by pointing out the prospect of making new friends as well as experiencing new things; however, none could excite me. The idea of leaving behind friends and my life terrified me. Nonetheless, my voice was overpowered by my parents. As I climbed the steps of the airplane, I was overwhelmed with fear of how people would react to my accent, my skin color, as well as my clothing. Even though I had to live with these fears for the first few days of school, I gradually managed to ignore these thoughts concerning myself and instead focus on my new surroundings. Surprisingly, my seemingly minute efforts to initiate even the most basic forms of conversation with my peers ended up creating strong friendships. Suddenly, what first seemed like a hurdle, ultimately became an enjoyable experience. Even more so, I was then able to help my brother and parents make this transition easier by drawing from my own struggles. I recognized that when people disregarded other languages or cultures, it simply placed more barriers. I can now speak four languages fluently. While each has taken dedication and time, I do not regret any of them. They have all given me a different perspective of the world, each helping me become a more well-rounded person.

its 238 WORDS right now... i need to trim it down to 150! THANKS!!

to my accent, my skin color, as well as my clothing.--- to my accent, skin color and clothing

to help my brother and parents make this transition----my family make this transition, keep it general, no need to go into details

This part above is the most important part of the essay. All the sentences that precede it are good, but the most important part is when you get here, to the end, where you share the insight you gained.

This is confusing: I recognized that when people disregarded other languages or cultures, it simply placed more barriers.----it is too obvious to say barriers result when people disregard. You should try to make this sentence perfectly express your most important insight.

Also, try to add a sentence that shows how the lesson you learned can help you in your career.

:-)