A Tentative Year to Travel
My bow hung steadily at my side, my instrument propped wayward against my body. The interminable wait began once again for the conductor to lead us into our first segment. I was nervous, watching the multitude of faces in the audience eager to watch and equally ready to judge our every move. It was the final concert of the year and we were the last group to preform. In spite of all this, I knew we would do great - we always did.
It was the summer of my sophomore year, and I had been in the ***** Orchestra for three years. It began with my violin teacher, who recognized my talent early on and supportively guided me to succeed. I had worked hard to attain a seat in the upper level orchestra and was fortunate enough to become a part of the 2008 trip to Beijing taking place just weeks prior to the Olympic games. Likewise, my school orchestra was hosting a similar event that coincidentally started three days after the original trip would end. My parents, who were usually ardent savers, didn't hesitate to pay my (and their own) way through this once in a lifetime adventure. They insisted I go on both trips, stressing the cultural and historical importance and how I must do my part by becoming a part of it. They did their part by assisting an additional student who, like me, was going on both trips. We had friends residing in Beijing who were willing to accommodate my family and me between tours, and were more than happy to take in another.
It was an extraordinary year to explore a country revolutionizing both itself and the world by opening its doors to host their very first Olympic games. I felt I was blessed to be present in such an event and sought to make the most of it. We had prepared all year, stacked on triple our normal song load and spent extra nights and weekends to make sure we would be ready. I was a bit overwhelmed at first by the sheer number of songs I had to perfect for both tours. A lot of the stress was alleviated through my parent's encouragement, my tutor and conductors' solid instruction and my own will to survive the pressure.
It payed off splendidly, giving me ample time to enjoy the finer aspects of travel. We did a total of fourteen concerts throughout the tour, but it surprised me how little they mattered in the scope of the trip. I was into exploring the cultural differences of the mainland. I had only been to my mother's native Hong Kong and Beijing opened up an entirely new avenue of life. I marveled at the possibility that one day this may very well be my world to live in. I felt I was like China, here to adapt to a ceaselessly competitive world. The Olympics might have been China's finest hour, but it was the day everything changed for me, the day a new force officially unfolds rapidly into the world. I am determined to be a part of this force, and am confidant through my university education, I will thrive in whatever world it may take me.
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541 words ~
I couldn't think of a substitute for the the word "day" in "...but it was the day everything changed for me, the day a new force officially unfolds...". It doesn't seem to fit, since the Olympics didn't happen over a day. I was also hoping to trim this down a bit, so any advice to do so will be much appreciated.
My bow hung steadily at my side, my instrument propped wayward against my body. The interminable wait began once again for the conductor to lead us into our first segment. I was nervous, watching the multitude of faces in the audience eager to watch and equally ready to judge our every move. It was the final concert of the year and we were the last group to preform. In spite of all this, I knew we would do great - we always did.
It was the summer of my sophomore year, and I had been in the ***** Orchestra for three years. It began with my violin teacher, who recognized my talent early on and supportively guided me to succeed. I had worked hard to attain a seat in the upper level orchestra and was fortunate enough to become a part of the 2008 trip to Beijing taking place just weeks prior to the Olympic games. Likewise, my school orchestra was hosting a similar event that coincidentally started three days after the original trip would end. My parents, who were usually ardent savers, didn't hesitate to pay my (and their own) way through this once in a lifetime adventure. They insisted I go on both trips, stressing the cultural and historical importance and how I must do my part by becoming a part of it. They did their part by assisting an additional student who, like me, was going on both trips. We had friends residing in Beijing who were willing to accommodate my family and me between tours, and were more than happy to take in another.
It was an extraordinary year to explore a country revolutionizing both itself and the world by opening its doors to host their very first Olympic games. I felt I was blessed to be present in such an event and sought to make the most of it. We had prepared all year, stacked on triple our normal song load and spent extra nights and weekends to make sure we would be ready. I was a bit overwhelmed at first by the sheer number of songs I had to perfect for both tours. A lot of the stress was alleviated through my parent's encouragement, my tutor and conductors' solid instruction and my own will to survive the pressure.
It payed off splendidly, giving me ample time to enjoy the finer aspects of travel. We did a total of fourteen concerts throughout the tour, but it surprised me how little they mattered in the scope of the trip. I was into exploring the cultural differences of the mainland. I had only been to my mother's native Hong Kong and Beijing opened up an entirely new avenue of life. I marveled at the possibility that one day this may very well be my world to live in. I felt I was like China, here to adapt to a ceaselessly competitive world. The Olympics might have been China's finest hour, but it was the day everything changed for me, the day a new force officially unfolds rapidly into the world. I am determined to be a part of this force, and am confidant through my university education, I will thrive in whatever world it may take me.
-----------------------------------------
541 words ~
I couldn't think of a substitute for the the word "day" in "...but it was the day everything changed for me, the day a new force officially unfolds...". It doesn't seem to fit, since the Olympics didn't happen over a day. I was also hoping to trim this down a bit, so any advice to do so will be much appreciated.
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