Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

students' next step: Should they travel or work for a year before university?


khanhlinhpham 2 / 4 2  
Jul 30, 2013   #1
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

After graduating high school, many students are faced with the question about the next step of their lives.They are confused whether working and travelling for a year or starting their tertiary lavel education immediately. Both of these ideas have their points and will be analysed in this essay.

On the one hand, if students spend a year before university travalling or working, they will gain certain benefits. They are provided with more experience from the outside world of their high school. Going to work for a year, students will be familiar with work environment. Moreover, by working or travelling, students can broaden their minds. Moreover, should they travel or work for a year, they are given the chance to develop practical knowledge and social skills. For example, those going on trips will not only learn about differrent cultures or languages, but also improve their communication skill. In addition, provided that they work hard, students may even earn money. In particular, students who decide to work are likely to earn enough money which will later be used for their study.

On the other hand, a year of travelling anf working can bring with it some adverse effects. Some students, after that gap year, do not feel like going to university. They want to keep their jobs or hope to do more travelling. Therefore, a year of travelling or working is apparently disruptive and could exert an impact on their studies. Furthermore, in order to work or travel, there is some requirements that students cannot meet. Those who want to have journeys need a sufficient budget, while those anticipating to work could be asked previous experience, which they are lacking in.

In conclusion, the idea of travelling or working for a year before going to university has pros and cons. The decision depends the the students' situations. In my opinion, a year with journeys or jobs could do students more good than harm.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 30, 2013   #2
graduating from high school

They are confused whether working and travelling for a year or starting their tertiary lavel education immediately.

I don't think they are really confused. They decide to spend a year travelling or working.

Both of these ideas have their points and will be analysed in this essay.

It is not clear. Readers may wonder you tend to discuss 2 views: "taking a gap year" and "entering university". I think you could change this sentence a bit: While graduates can derive some benefits from taking a gap year, there are several drawbacks that are worth mentioning.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 31, 2013   #3
Both of these ideas have their points and will be analysed in this essay

Both these ideas have their positives and negatives. ... the rest is anyway implied.

On the one hand, if students spend a year before university fortravallingtravelling or working, they will gain certain benefits.

.

Going to work for a year, students will be familiar with work environment.

While working during this gap year, students would become familiar with work ethics and environment.
You follow the right structure. :) Good luck!
OP khanhlinhpham 2 / 4 2  
Aug 1, 2013   #4
Thank you for your comments. They are very helpful and constructive. :)


Home / Writing Feedback / students' next step: Should they travel or work for a year before university?