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Things that make me unique and distinct from any other person



tukkus23 2 / -  
Aug 25, 2010   #1
Hi, my name is Gabriel Jose E. Garcia and I am currently in 4th year high school in St. Bridget College Batangas. I have been in SBC since I was in kindergarten. I am me. No one knows me better than myself. Like any other young boy, I can also play sports like basketball. I am a decent young boy, silent type, studious and punctual. I am still discovering new things about who I am. I am a silent worker who always wants to have activities. There are many things about me that make me unique and distinct from any other person. The best word that describes me would probably be, "aristocrat". Because I am a man of good social standing. I am an interesting, fun loving guy with a good sense of humor. I can share many of my thoughts that I have in mind. Experiences and challenges have broadened my vision of mankind and made me a proactive person. I can mingle with others to gain more friends everytime. When I was little I used to be scared of clowns and mascots and hide under tables and anything I find to get away from them. My parents taught me to have fear to the almighty God which I did. I was also taught by my parents to respect the older people which I also did. I remember myself being a pessimistic kid, who had never really cared or even thought about my goals in the future. But when the time came that it is time for me to choose a course for college, I started wandering of what course will I take. And I asked myself, what do I want to be after graduating college?

Tetanya 6 / 20  
Aug 25, 2010   #2
e, I started waondering of what course will I will take. And I asked myself, what who do I want to be after graduating college?
caprigaurav 2 / 4  
Aug 25, 2010   #3
Hi Gabriel - you may want to make a few changes to make your essay more succinct and clear:
1/ I have been in with SBC since I was in kindergarten
2/ Like any other young boy, I can alsolike to play sports like basketball
3/ There are many things about me that make me unique and distinct from any other person
4/ The best word that describes me would probably be, an "aristocrat". Because I am a man of good social standingfrom good social background

5/ My parents taught me to have fear to theonly almighty God whichthat I did
6/ who had never really cared or even thought about myhis goals in the future. But, but
7/ 'when the time came that it is time for' looks redundant

Also the write-up looks to have a lot of run-on sentences and change in tense, i suggest to improve on those aspects as well

All the best
Gaurav
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 27, 2010   #4
Hi, my name is Gabriel ... knows me better than myself. Like any other young boy, I can also play sports like basketball. --- all this stuff does not tell how you are unique. You should begin this with a sentence that is powerful. Begin it with a sentence that tells the most important difference, or one that is interesting to you.

Here is one I would give for myself:
I know that I am not interested in the same things most people are interested in.

What is a sentence that tells something DISTINCTIVE about you?


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