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"I thought I was the only one!"- Harvard



N_Campbell 3 / 8  
Dec 31, 2013   #1
Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences

TELL ME IF ITS TOO LONG OR ANY COMMENTS

I looked down and saw the grass below me, but separating us was a space the width of the Atlantic. I had never been so high up and there was no turning back. All I kept thinking was how this string-like harness would support me or possibly save my life.

This past summer my scholars programs attended the Georgia Tech obstacle course. I was slightly nonchalant about the trip: the previous summer we completed a similar course indoors. As we got off the bus and saw the course some of us seized in amazement.

"No big deal, I had done this already." I thought. Sadly, I had been fooling myself.

The course leaders had us do activities as we prepared for what was to come.

"This is a turnstyle and you and your friends are late for a concert." They said. The coordinators named a formula and the rest was up to us. The task was to assess our leadership abilities and it was clear I was a chief.

As the day of simple fun and festivities began to end, we approached our final activity, the obstacle course. I put my harness and helmet on as fast as a hyperactive child. Remember, I had done this before and was ready to do it again.

To get to the top, I climbed a net thinking I was spiderwoman and unstoppable. Once at the top, our first obstacle was a tight rope that started as two and merged into one. We had to go in order and as one person left another had to go to maintain balance.

I had to do it.

As I stepped on the rope, my vision headed south and it looked as if I were floating in mid-air. My foot hid the cable and all I could see was the grass that seemed harder than usual. As we continued to cross, the rope began to sway. My friend asked if I could pass her a vine for support. I could not. The vine was far and if I attempted to grasp it, I was sure to fall.

I failed my teammate.

The next obstacles were metal ledges were separated great distances apart. I did not think I could go through with it but it was either complete the course our face the tight rope again. There was no turning back.

As we began to step on the ledge my heart raced. Everyone need to be on the same ledge at the once. I gripped the wire tensely; the fearless had become the fearful. With every step I hand to reach for a team member's hand. While we continued they cheered me on because it was clear I needed it.

As we got done, I was excited I had gone through with it, but I was mostly in awe. Shocked at how well we worked as a unit and how much they supported me. My team was my harness.

I then quickly went to my friend, Jennifer and apologized. I refused to aid her when she need it.

"No problem", she said "we were all afraid."

At that moment I felt at ease. Sometime the best of us might need guidance, but we must show courage and help others.

541 WORDS

OP N_Campbell 3 / 8  
Dec 31, 2013   #2
I had way too many words and wasn't aware of it

I thinking about changing it to this:

I think Ladies of Distinction represents my most meaningful commitment. Every third Sunday of the month, we assist Atlanta's First Presbyterian Church serve breakfast to the homeless. These experiences are most meaningful to me because I am able to realize how fortunate I am and wonder what circumstances others may be coping with.

IS THIS TOO BRIEF AND BLAND?
quanny 9 / 36  
Dec 31, 2013   #3
i think it's fine. the pace is good, and the description is very detailed so very imagery. this is not long haha. i wrote even longer...
aaamonicaaa 3 / 11  
Dec 31, 2013   #4
It's flowing and has a perfect length. I don't think it's too long at all. It captivates and keeps you interested to the end! Great Job!
OP N_Campbell 3 / 8  
Dec 31, 2013   #5
Thanks! How were you able to have a longer one? ..Harvard tab on common app. limits me to 150 words
quanny 9 / 36  
Dec 31, 2013   #6
sorry i thought it is sup essay...ya for activity,only 150 words


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