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Some thoughts on my "Obstacle" essay"

wannabePA 1 / 1  
Sep 26, 2009   #1
Hello all, please give me some thoughts on my "Obstacle" essay:

It was in 2002 that served, for the moment, the happiest day of my parents' lives. I had graduated college, and helped achieve not only a stepping stone to pursue higher education, but to satisfy my parents' wishes, who also attained their degrees. I took my bachelor's in biology and applied to three reknown schools of optometry. Although my application was suitable for their requirements, it was not competitive enough for their programs that year. I was mentally deterred from matriculating to optometry school, asking myself "do you really want to be an eye doctor?" My reply was "no," so I wanted to explore other health-related professions before reaching my career destination.

I noticed during my lull of career-seeking that Florida was a great place to immerse oneself in the wide range of health settings, being that there was rapid growth from retirees, Latin Americans, and Ohioans in general. Moving to south Florida was quite a separation, but from the work done there I grew more intimate to the medical and allied medical field. After some rewarding years working with physician assistants, I knew that this career defined my qualities more than that of optometry.
acat6332 4 / 12  
Sep 26, 2009   #2
i like it although i agree, the topic is rather cliche but i think that if you expand on it and just let them see more of you it will make a bid difference

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