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"three unique factors" - Is my short answer response too weak?



flight23 4 / 14  
Mar 18, 2009   #1
Prompt: List and describe three unique factors that have most shaped who you are (any obstacles you have faced or passions you have developed are especially relevant).

Orson Scott Card
Reading has always been my passion. From The Pied Piper, a picture-filled book given to me as a child, to A Tale of Two Cities, a thick classic I recently bought, I have enjoyed several passages of literature. In my 7th grade, I found a dusty little novel, Ender's Game, displayed in the book-racks of my English teacher. As soon as I finished reading it, I fell in love with Orson Scott Card's work. I own 15 of his novels and a short story collection; his views have greatly influenced my political and global opinions.

Well, this is one of my "factors." I thought it might be a little weak and instead focus on my parent's socioeconomic situation [we're pretty poor] or my mother's ectopic pregnancy [though it was a bit early in my childhood]

WritersBlock 2 / 3  
Mar 18, 2009   #2
In my opinion I would not count literature as a weak response. I think you did a really good job, I would start off with your parent's socioeconomic situation and then move into the literature part of it. But it's just a suggestion.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Mar 18, 2009   #3
Go deep into the meaning of one of his books, and convey it in a single sentence... take inspiration from him. This is a great approach. Strike out the sentences about how you own 15 books, and instead write some meaningful truth from within the theme of one of them. Tell how Card's work relates to your intended course of study... is there a connection?? Take inspiration from that brilliant work!

What are the other factors?? I am dying to know!!
OP flight23 4 / 14  
Mar 18, 2009   #4
Other Factors:

Go - A Board Game
Go is a board game that was invented in China thousands of years ago, and I have found it to be a fascinating and beautiful game. I discovered Go during the 9th grade from a comic book, and my love and participation in activities related to it have risen ever since. I even attended a few official tournaments in my area and met an assortment of Go players, a rare breed: only 20,000 in America. To assist the spread of Go, I have created a website dedicated to the game. It contains a flash project that teaches Go.

Sharing a Home
From Covina to Glendale, there have been six places I have called home. Ever since that first house in Covina, I have shared my dwelling with strangers. Some of them may not have been strangers to my parents, but even my parents were only associated with them through relatives or friends. Often these strangers were not fond sharing, and early in life I felt boundaries within my own home. Most people don't encounter the concept that not everything inside your home is yours; however, living with this concept has taught me to recognize and respect the boundaries of others.

Well, these are the two. The Go will probably be edited to show some sort of way Go has changed me personally.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Mar 19, 2009   #5
From Covina to Glendale, there have been six places I have called home.

Hey, this is impressive! I'll check out your website because i want to learn to play Go. It is impressive that you started a website... also, your sentence structure is impressive. I can just clean up a little here and there:

...and I have found it to be a fascinating and beautiful experience .

or...

...and I have found it to be a fascinating and beautiful competition .
OP flight23 4 / 14  
Mar 20, 2009   #6
Hey thanks! The go project's not finished yet, but it should help you start out. I started to study sentence structure because my English teacher told me I needed to vary my sentence length.
EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Mar 20, 2009   #7
These all seem like strong factors to me. And literature is definitely a good one -- nothing shapes a person quite the way being an avid reader does. Reading opens the mind, teaches critical though, and cultivates the imagination, points you might want to mention when you are discussing it.


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