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"Thrill"; I love the thrill of thinking you might die, but deep down know you are safe - 'Best word'


madzfradz 1 / -  
Dec 24, 2014   #1
This is my first draft of this essay so its still a bit rough, any critiques or suggestions are encouraged and greatly appreciated! I'll be sure to return the favor!

What's your favorite word and why?

As I step into the harness, my stomach flutters, followed by a ping of regret, but is eventually overtaken by the excitement running through me. After being clipped in, I waddle to the edge of the board and look down. An icy cold river rushes over jagged, sharp rocks. "I can't do this," I think to myself, then I remember how much I love the thrill of thinking you might die, but deep down know you are safe. Three...Two... One...

I love taking risks, and crave adrenaline, making my favorite word is "thrill". Whether it be a scary movie or a 260 foot bungee jump, I live for a good thrill. Ever since I reached 48 inches tall, I would hop on the tallest roller coaster, strap myself in, and laugh and scream the entire ride. My love for thrills has influenced how I approach taking chances in my life. I push myself to do the best I can, no matter the circumstance. I take every opportunity I am given and run with it. I intend to continue my craving for thrills and risks on into the next chapter of my life.

I jump, free falling towards Earth. My stomach flips over, adrenaline pumps through my veins, my pulse soars. As I dangle upside down waiting to be pulled back up, my heart is still pounded heavily, but I am smiling from ear to ear.

rtan05 5 / 32 3  
Dec 24, 2014   #2
I remember how much I love the thrillof thinking you might die, but deep down know you are safe. Three...Two... One...

i think you could use adrenaline rush instead of "thinking you might ..." or some other phrase because that phrase comes on too aggressive.

you don't have to say "... making..." you could state it out there that you're favorite word is thrill.
I commend you for your word choices, it paints a vivid picture. and you first paragraph already has the word thrill. so you could state there that thrill is your favorite word and then elaborate on it further with more specificity than just experiences. The reason behind the word , as you've painted the meaning of the word for you
sage28 4 / 12 4  
Dec 28, 2014   #3
Overall, solid essay. I agree with the above to change the dying segment. I would also add specific examples about how you will continue your love for thrills and risks into the future.


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