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Title: FOG----Parsons Challenge Essay :)



Pizdaaumaa00 1 / -  
Dec 23, 2015   #1
Sometimes we learn a lot from the dreadful experiences that we have faced. Over the last 2 years there have been periods, I feel lost in my twisted mind and I was formed and molded in my thoughts. My thoughts and imaginary are very deep and various from others. That's might be the reason I get bullied from first grade to eleventh grade. I changed my environment due to the fact that I was depressed, but it was impossible to find someone that can understand me. I saw my reflection in a big mirror in the room. My happy facial expression reflecting in the mirror, tall and bright boy whose inner self was dark and cloudy. It was real me. Confusion and Lonesome. My mind feels clouded like there's a fog around me. Inside I am completely different person. Society encourage us to smile. I am really bright person inside, when I am screaming inside in my mind. I started to change myself. Due to fresh new start I thought clothes can influence the way people treat me, so I started looking for magazine like GQ, looking for runway shows. It became my addiction, it became my drug and my heart and soul. I was healing from my anxiety and depression. I find the light at the end of tunnel. I was breaking the mold. As Anna Dello Russo said, "Reality for me is too hard. Fashion is an escape. Is my addiction, better than drugs". When I watch Dior documentary or go to a Museum, it makes me wanna breath. It allows me to dip into another world and escape the one that I'm living.

LPSZEZSNE 1 / 2  
Dec 23, 2015   #2
Over the last 2 years there have been periods when I have feltI feel lost in my twisted mind, and I was formed and molded in my thoughts.

The second part of this sentence doesn't quite make sense to me, I'm sorry! Maybe reword to get your point across more clearly

My thoughts and imaginaryimagination are very deep and variousdifferent from others.
This might be the reason I gethave been bullied from first grade to eleventh grade.
I changed my environment due to the fact that I was depressed, but it was impossible to find someone that canwas able to understand me. I saw my reflection in a big mirror in the room. My happy facial expression reflecting in the mirror, tall and bright boy whose inner self was dark and cloudy. It was real me. ConfusionConfused and Lonesome. My mind feels clouded like there's a fog around me. Inside I am a completely different person. Society encourage us to smile. I am really a bright person inside, when I am screaming inside in my mind.

I started to change myself.
What caused you to change yourself
I thought that clothes could influence the way thatpeople treat me, so I started looking for magazine like GQ, looking for runway shows. It became my addiction, it became my drug and my heart and soul. I was healing from my anxiety and depression, and I findfound the light at the end of tunnel. I was breaking the mold. As Anna Dello Russo said, "Reality for me is too hard. Fashion is an escape. Is my addiction, better than drugs". When I watch Dior documentary or go to a Museum, it makes me wannawant to breath. It allows me to dip into another world and escape the one that I'm living.

The middle needs a little work, but I fixed some of the grammar mistakes :) be careful to watch out for tense or comma issues. I'm not certain as to what the prompt was exactly, but I think that you could have a good start! I like that fact that it goes from negative to positive, and you can really see your passion for fashion and the runway. Nice start :)


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