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I have the traits of a mover; U PENN: Ben Franklin (immovable, movable, move)



android21 10 / 56  
Feb 17, 2013   #1
Ben Franklin once said, "All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move."

Which are you? (300-500 words)....YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CORRECT MY GRAMMAR BECAUSE CHANCES ARE I HAVE A LOT OF ERRORS...BUT DO YOU LIKE MY APPROACH...IS IT UNIQUE???IT SEEMS EVERYONE HAS DONE MOVE>>>I THOUGHT I COULD GIVE IMMOVABLE A LITTLE SPICE AND ALTERNATE PERSPECTIVE...do you think admission will like it. OH YEA I AM NOT DONE...

Society is divided into three classes: immovable, movable, those that move. Respectively it pertains to thought, word, and deed. While thinking one should be in an immovable state, while influenced by words one should be movable, and while gracing society with good deeds one should move. When a fetus matures the first organ to develop is the brain, then a few weeks later, the legs. Yet, many of us are inclined to use our legs before our brain. Therefore, it is not wise to move without assimilating thought into ones goals.

Honestly, I have the traits of a mover; I am always seeking experience and if I fail I get up and try again. But, as a thinker, a spectator, and a learner, I do not dare to move without understanding. Do not mistake my behavior for idleness, rather the time I take out of my life to contemplate where I want to be, and how I will execute my actions. It's the mind, it's my mind that visualizes where I want to be and what I want to achieve. It's my mind that builds my confidence and keeps me going. This is why I have supplied adequate time to my mind to adjust and build on goals....If there is one thing I learned from life it is not about how much I can do but, what I can do and do right.

Didgeridoo - / 289  
Feb 17, 2013   #2
I'm kind of on the fence about your approach. On one hand, it's cool that you connected the three classes to thoughts, words, and actions. But then you talk about how it is important to develop your thoughts before you act. But while people's thoughts should be immovable, or people who are immovable only think and never act, whether or not you think before you act does not actually have anything to do with being a person who moves. So spending your essay talking about that is a little confusing to me.
OP android21 10 / 56  
Feb 17, 2013   #3
Thank you...Yea I guess ill just be a straight up mover instead of hurting admission's brains...any suggestions? you think I should just start fresh and eliminate everything I wrote..

I was trying to say i am a thinker but, I guess it does not work quite as well as I want it to....
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Feb 17, 2013   #4
Hmm... Maybe you should just write that you are immovable then, and discuss how to move others, you have to be a thinker first, and how "thinker" is what you primarily define yourself as. Paradoxically, being immovable in your thoughts and goals is the best way to move others; that's a more direct way of saying it.

Hope that was helpful; I don't think you should abandon your idea unless you really want to.
OP android21 10 / 56  
Feb 17, 2013   #5
...I know I am a pain in the hoot, but bare with me on this lol... I wanna say something like I move everyday to see what my soul is made of to see what I am capable of...i am thinking if i should bring in an anecdote about my bodybuilding regiment....No?

Dang man this is tough how bout something like this:

Life seems to be an endless cycle when one chooses to be immovable. It Is the most dangerous thing to be stuck in thought, because the cycle will never break unless one makes a choice and runs towards it. I move. There are times when I feel I am on a running track chasing that last piece of hope hanging from a string. I am sprinting faster and reaching further, knowing the weight of my immovable past is slowing me down. but I will not stop, even if I have to break my arm to reach an inch closer...blah blah blah....
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Feb 17, 2013   #6
I think that instead of creating an elaborate explanation or metaphor for what you're trying to say, you should write the essay around an experience that shows that you are one of the three things. But I do like the idea of changing "move" to mean that you are pursuing your maximum potential instead of the cliched "move" of impacting other people.
OP android21 10 / 56  
Feb 17, 2013   #7
Great Idea!!!I was thinking I will do it around weightlifting. Thank you so much for guiding me through this mess. I am glad people like you exist.
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Feb 17, 2013   #8
It was my pleasure :D


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