this is prompt 1 for UC transfer
grammar, organizations fine?
For some people, their major choice is influenced by a person. For others, they choose a major because of family pressure. I have chosen my major, Sociology, based on my experiences as a United States Marine. This segment of my life not only strengthened me as a person, but it also made me discover my passion for helping society. The boot camp helped me to understand how important is to know a role. The military is based on rank structures. Someone is always higher than someone else in the military. For example, the commandant, who is highest rank in the Marine Corp, is lower than the president of United States. The first date I became a recruits, I have to know my role as follower. I realized that I have to follower the group leaders who are drill instructors. Some recruits could not finish boot camp on time because they did not listen to simple instructions what the instructors wanted them to do. They had bad attitude on every event: Physical Fitness test, Swim Qualification, and Crucible week. Some recruits could not transfer over to military minds from their civilian mind. They failed to know their role as a recruit. I had my own trouble with English language and physical problem. However, I could become a complete Marine because I was well aware of my role as a recruit. This understanding of role is helpful in my current study of Sociology.
I have chosen Sociology as my major because of my appreciation of diversity and culture. While I served my time in Okinawa, Japan, I learned how to socialize with new people. I had tough time to interact at work and after work because I did not know how to interact appropriately with new and different people all around the world: Europe, Asia, South, North, East, West side of America. They had different favors, views, tastes, and accents. I wanted to socialize better with people, so I changed myself into more like American. One thing we had common in speaking English and living Okinawa, Japan as American warriors. Since I changed myself more into individually, saying no person, and my life style as America, I could socialize better with my fellow workers. Because they and I had similarities, I could work more efficiently, and I was able to get along better with fellow troops after work or on liberty.
My past as a Marine has been greatly influence my current direction as Sociology major. I have received well graded on most of courses I have taken in Mount San Antonio College with discipline and initiative from previous experiences. I truly believe that I will finish my major, Sociology in a high level of education. In the future, I have planning to work on law enforcement field helping people and community by my experiences with Marine Corp and a major in Sociology.
The boot camp helped me to understand how important is to know a role. The military is based on rank structures.
Right here, in the above sentences, is where you start going off in some direction, moving away from the topic you started to establish. Before you start talking about boot camp, finish the intro paragraph. Let the stuff about boot camp be paragraph 2.
Finish the intro by saying:
This essay is intended to explain how my experiences in boot camp and during active duty have instilled in me an appreciation for social science, and specifically _______