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"trying to be the best leader" - Rutgers Admissions Essay - Contributing to Diversity



trizoh11 1 / -  
Oct 29, 2010   #1
Essay Prompt: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.

In my high school, it is not uncommon to see someone in the hallways whom you have never seen before in your life. It is very easy to go unnoticed among 3000 other peers, thus not many people stand out and are universally well-known. Due to the widespread cliques and friendships among my grade, many of my peers are considered followers: they do not get involved in many sports or clubs, do not make their voice heard, and simply let each day pass by, letting others make important decisions for their school. I, on the other hand, contribute to the diversity at my school by leading my grade in many different aspects, standing as a role model for those whose voices are not heard.

I attribute my diversity to my versatility. I am not a stock character who falls into a stereotypical clique. Instead, I am able to float between social groups and relate to them. The popular students, "nerd" overachievers and intellectuals, student athletes, and off-beats are four distinct groups in most high schools, groups that do not intermingle and only stick to themselves. While my high school does have these distinct groups, I do not fall under a label. I can talk to the athletes during my track workouts and help the intellectuals in calculus or Latin, relate to the people who do not seem to fit in and make conversation with those who do fit in. I have all the bases covered in my grade and earned each group's respect in different ways. This is has been important in being able to lead my grade, because I can relate to everyone on an individual level, they respect me and take me seriously as a leader.

My diversity has benefited my whole grade in that I am a living example of hard work and determination paying off in the long run. After narrowly losing class elections twice, I was discouraged with my failures and did not know if I would contend for a class officer position for my junior year. After thinking it over, I decided to run for class treasurer, but I knew it would be very tough. I tried to make my campaign universal for all different types of students, and once the votes were cast, it was revealed that I won a close four-way election. Not only was this a huge victory for myself, since I have been vying for a position as a class officer for all of high school, but it was also an important victory for my grade. With the same class council for two years, many people were discouraged to run for office, since they figured that they same people would win year after year. I was able to overcome the odds and defeat the student who was class treasurer since eighth grade. My victory proved to be powerful for my fellow peers, because I stood as a symbol for perseverance and defying the odds. I proved that an ordinary person is capable of winning, and that the victors are not necessarily the most popular students, but the students who care the most and who want to help lead the school.

Ultimately I can help contribute to the diversity at Rutgers by trying to best leader that I can be. In a school with nearly 40,000 undergraduates, it will be impossible to reach out and get to know every single student; regardless, being able to lead a grade of almost 750 students in one of the largest schools in New Jersey is no easy feat. My ability to contribute and add diversity to a large high school will be able to transfer over to a large university like Rutgers. I will be living among a varied cast of characters and be able to relate to them through my own experiences. Due to my upbringing in such a large school and my ability to be a people person, I will be able to add from the diversity at Rutgers, and become even more diverse myself.

lauragimenez20 - / 1  
Nov 2, 2010   #2
Trizoh11,

I think you wrote a pretty good essay however it wasn't clear exactly how you would contribute and benefit to Rutger's Diversity. You wrote about how you contribute to diversity in your school, and how your school benefitted from you; but not how you would contribute and benefit to Rutgers. Also, is it under 3800 characters?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Nov 6, 2010   #3
...do not make their voices heard, and simply let each day pass ...

My diversity has benefited my whole grade in that I am a living example of hard work and determination paying off in the long run. -----What do you mean? It benefits everyone in your grade level at your school?

Actually, I don't know how I feel about this use of the word diversity as a word to describe a person. The word itself is kind of a cliche, and it refers to diverse groups... groupd of diverse things. I don't know if it is good to refer to "my diversity."

Okay, I like everything about this, and the accomplishments and activities are impressive. But I challenge you to find a new word to use instead of diversity. Use a word that means the same thing. I am not sure if that is possible, but if it is, you could revolutionize your essay. It is fun to change a word that is the theme of an essay and see the whole thing turn like a kaleidoscope.


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