Tufts supplement: Something that I created

@Holt
Whether you've built blanket forts or circuit boards, produced community theater or mixed media art installations, tell us: what have you invented, engineered, created, or designed? Or what do you hope to?(200-250 words)

The Galileoscope

The Galileoscope is a small, inexpensive telescope, designed with the intention of increasing public interest in astronomy and science. Looking through the lens, millions of people can see what Galileo Galilei saw. There couldn't be a better name for my online newspaper.

I believe that the attention science deserves from young people is only obstructed by uninitiated inquisitiveness. The independent acquisition of information is neglected in our school system, rendering students unmotivated to update themself on the latest development of the world. As an attempt to spark their curiosity, my friend and I started a newspaper that aims to provide new findings accompanied by basic knowledge in various fields. What makes our content different from the existing resources is its authentic teenage tone, its references to the lastest celebrity gossips and internet memes, and in my school, it succeeded in giving people a good laugh while throwing in some new knowledge.

I intend to expand the subjects of The Galileoscope to include opinion articles and controversial issues, like political corruption and the violation of human rights in Vietnam, in the near future. Galileo spoke the truth he saw through his telescope, and he was burned alive for it. That didn't matter to him. Like his own, our telescope will be dedicated to what we believe in. As it's handed from one person to another, as it's polished and reinvented, I hope it will become something that does not only help young people see, but also help them speak.

Please review my essay. Thanks for your help!

Nice response. It is perfect except for one small detail. You forgot to include an active link to your online newspaper. Always remember that these fact based essays will be double checked by the reviewer for accuracy and existence. So when you say you have an online newspaper, you should be able to provide not only the link to the newspaper, but also information about how long it took to conceptualize it, what your position title is at the paper, when the paper went online and how long it has been online so far. If your paper has come to the attention of some other scientific community members, you should mention that too. You should also have a paragraph explaining why you wish to expand the coverage of Galileo in the future. Do you see yourself continuing to be active in the day to day activities of the paper once you attend Tufts? How do you plan to do that and why is it important to you that you continue to participate in the paper even when you are away from home? These are the sort of information that show a strong sense of advocacy and determination to continue developing that which you know is good for you. Which, in this case, is allowing others in Vietnam to have a voice in the scientific community through Galileo.

I run it on Facebook since I can't afford to pay for a domain. But still, I can include an active link in the essay? Shouldn't it be at some other place?

Then mention that you have it on Facebook. Yes, include an active link and make sure to tell them if it is an open or closed group so the reviewer will be informed about how he will be able to see page. The program should make the active link if it is allowed in the online application form. Otherwise, it will be included in the essay in an unclickable form. Not to worry though, the reviewer can always cut and paste the url so he can access the page online or do a search in Facebook for himself. Unless the application form specifically has a place for you to place the link, I don't see how else you can inform the reviewer about it. If you are in doubt about how the link will be treated in the application form, you can always contact the admissions office for clarification.

I guess I'll have to explain how to access the page directly to the admission office, probably through email. The word limit is 250 words and I'm already at 248 with that draft.

Thanks for reading!

Actually you can put the link in the Activities section of the Common App, if you choose to include the founding of this paper, but there's a character limit here so try to keep the description succinct. Or you can design a CV and put the link there then email it to the school, this is what I did because I didn't want to waste words in supplement essays. Overall your essay is pretty solid, and Holt's suggestions already resemble mine so I wouldn't repeat them.

Thanks for the advice!