Why Tulane? This University is the one for me. Essay Assistance

Hello! This is my first draft of the Why Tulane? Essay prompt, and I am looking for any sort of feedback! Let me know, and feel free to fix any grammatical errors...thank you so much!

Prompt: Please describe why you are interested in attending Tulane University.

Essay:

Tulane appeals to me like no other college does

As I gazed through my plane window the initial time I landed in New Orleans, I knew that it was a place where I wanted to live at some point in my life. The exciting culture, delectable cuisine, and world-famous architecture established this thought as my family and I toured the magnificent city. Trip after trip, this idea has been reconfirmed to me like no other. Consequently, it was no surprise to me that when I finally visited a friend at Tulane, I fell in love. Tulane offers everything that I am looking for in an institution of higher-education. From the world-class academics to the everyday environment of New Orleans, I want nothing more than to further my education at Tulane.

Academics have always been a very important part of my life, and I know that that value will not be changed throughout my college endeavors. I appreciate the flexibility and freedom that students have at Tulane to double-or even triple- major. That possibility makes a world of difference to people like me, who are interested in many different career routes. If accepted into this highly esteemed University, I would hope to double-major in Business and Political Science. Because the Freeman School of Business has such an active base of alumni and supportive group of professors, I would love to have the ability to create the necessary connections for finding my dream job once I have graduated. Because of my collaborative nature, I especially appreciate the TIDES program that Tulane provides. I know that I would look forward to contributing in weekly meetings with peers and fellow faculty members where we can share various perspectives.

When I first stepped foot onto Tulane's elegant campus, I remember looking around the various parks and quads and seeing students hanging out with others, studying, or just hurrying to their next class. One important factor of my college search has been to find a University that has a vibrant group of students and places an emphasis on community. On my short visit in 2016, I saw more students interacting with others than I have any other University. The city of New Orleans is the perfect place to create these life-long friendships, as it has such an extreme variety of things to do. I can picture myself in the next four years spending time with my newfound friends in the French Quarter, or snacking on my favorite beignets at Café Du Monde. Also, I am fond of the myriad of options for clubs and organizations that there are to join. Not only do I want to graduate from college with a surplus of knowledge, but with lasting friends that I can go to for anything.

Tulane appeals to me like no other college does. From the beautiful campus and excellent location to the reputable professors and variety of opportunities, I know that this University is the one for me. I hope to gain from and contribute to life at Tulane very soon.

The essay is currently 499 words, and the max limit is 800!

Kelly, your essay is good but cannot be used at this point. Remember you are trying to give an answer to a prompt that is wholly or part of a personal statement and as such, your opening statement should be catchy and straight to the point in answering the prompt. With this in mind, I think your second paragraph would serve well as the opening paragraph. This is because when compared to the 1st paragraph, the 2nd is close to answering the prompt. Note that the selection committee have a pile of applications to review and would not spend much on yours if it is not engaging from the very first glance. I did not see any significant connection between your interest in Tulane University with your personal experience during high school days. Personal experience may encompass extracurricular activities, parents or peer's influence, personal challenges, personal goals and so on. Your should relate your interest in Tulane University with a specific idea or experience or plan that affects you which being a Tulane University student would help you unravel or improve on. Also, discuss what you can bring to the table if given the opportunity of admission. These and more like them are what reviewers are looking out for and they tend to make your application stand out. You should also try to draft an essay of at least 50 % of the word limit.

Hi Kelly, your essay is right on the mark as to why you wish to study in Tulane University. Usually, an out of state student first falls in love with a place, in your case, New Orleans, and then, upon finding a university in the area that suits his or her educational needs, finally decides to study at the university. Your essay shows a deeper connection with New Orleans, which, to the reviewer, will translate into your being a good fit for the university. If you are inspired by the place where the university is located, you will most likely have a wonderful and enlightening study experience as well. Your word count is just perfect for the 800 word essay. Don't try to add any more information if you have already said it all in less than the required word count. As long as you are above the minimum count, your essay will be fine. The progression of your interest in Tulane suits the required prompt requirements. It shows that you are a person who will grow and thrive within the social and academic setting of the university. Just focus in tightening the essay by creating a more smooth presentation. Transition sentences will help and also, a more chronological presentation of your discussion would create a more fluid reading for the reviewer who in turn, will better understand your reasons for choosing Tulane.

Don't praise the university. Don't say they are esteemed; they know it.. Overall its fine.
Why don't you start outright and delete the first paragraph.. It's sort of hackneyed and adcom are tired of seeing such phrases and sentence" I fell in love"