How tutoring English leads to a pursuit in communications - Supplement

Hello, the prompt for this supplement is to

describe an extra-curricular or work experience

. Please take a look at my essay and tell me what you think. I'm open to any suggestions and/or grammar feedback. Also, is the dialogue necessary and how can I elaborate more on the conclusion?

"Now repeat after me," I said to the third-grader who I was tutoring, "Attitude."
"Attitude."
"Predict, " I continued, pausing every now and then to correct her pronunciation.
I started tutoring English as a part-time job during the summer of my freshman year. As a homeschooler in China, I wanted to take advantage of my bilingual identity and utilize my free time to the fullest, and I found opportunities to do so through reaching out to family friends and church members. By the beginning of sophomore year, I was tutoring three children at completely different age levels.

Each child had a distinctive personality and they learned best through different teaching styles, so I tried to accommodate to their needs. For the sixth-grader who learns visually, I assigned hand-drawn vocabulary note cards. For the second-grader who has trouble staying focused, I created word games like crossword puzzles and charades to be more interactive. For the third-grader who likes to listen to music, I recommended plenty of English songs.

Tutoring English has taught me to present learning in a way that my students can understand and enjoy. I became more flexible, enthusiastic, and accepting through my tutoring experience, and I improved my communication skills in active listening and considering target audience. Doing so, I built and consolidated my relationship with each of the students.

In college, I want to expand my horizons. By pursuing in Communications, I hope to be equipped with skills to effectively communicate with not just a single person, but a diverse audience as well.

Hello! In this essay, I can see how your way of tutoring varies from student to student, but I think it's not directly related to "communication". Though people communicate in different ways, I think you should mention why you think different ways of teaching children are a kind of communicate and what is essential during communications. Communication isn't just about convincing others to agree one's opinion by words. Due to multiple personalities, the ways you react will be different from person to person. For instance, tutoring English has taught me to communicate with students through various teaching methods.

Something like that. In this way, people will know how you relate your experience to communications.

Hi Gaby, this is a very interesting presentation of a work related experience that also doubles as an extra curricular activity. You made the right choice topic wise. The dialogue in the essay helps to move your presentation along. It introduces the topic to the reviewer in an engaging manner, asking him to stay on till the end to find out how these lessons respond to the prompt. What you could do to further improve the presentation is tell the reviewer what happened to the students you were tutoring. Did you make a significant contribution to their language and communications improvement? If so, then include this as a particular past time that you hope to continue doing in college to help the ESL students from China develop their language skills during their and your spare time. Don't discuss your major as the actual topic for discussion is less academic centered and more skills and talent centered. The reviewer wants to know if you have any other interests that would make you an interesting addition to their forthcoming student roster.

@ronia85516@Holt
Thank you for your suggestions. I really appreciate it :)