Hello, i need someone to tell me how an extracurricular essay is meant to look like. I wrote two but I'm not sure which is the correct format.
I would really appreciate all opinions
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences (150-400 words)
It all began as simple way to help girls in the technical drawing class of my school improve their skills. In my school technical drawing is a boy dominated class so the few girls who choose to enroll are usually underappreciated. In my senior year I began a technical drawing help class for girls which took place during the weekends in the girls' hostel. With time and contribution from all the girls in the group, everyone began improving significantly and girls became huge represents for the course. Students from other departments joined the group and after a while our little group expanded and we began teaching subjects ranging from further mathematics to literature. You can even imagine the shock and pride we felt when we found out the boys had taken a hint and began the same thing in their hostel.
Although not a formally recognized school organization, the tutoring program I believe was a huge contribution to the development of the student body, and I am more than pleased knowing the even after my set's graduation, the present senior class has continued the program.
Outside of school however, during the holidays, I provided free lessons and help with homework to the small children surrounding me. Most of my neighbors are children with ages from 2 to 10 years old who don't have any elder siblings to help them with their homework. So most of the time they come to my house for help, which I willingly offer. Most of my classmates and friends lived far away so my siblings would help whenever then had the chance. After a while parents began donating money which I used to buy a white board and markers to effectively teach the children.
In school or at home, contributing to the people and community around me with activities such as this is something I am extremely happy to participate in. (318 words)
I would really appreciate all opinions
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences (150-400 words)
Tutoring program
It all began as simple way to help girls in the technical drawing class of my school improve their skills. In my school technical drawing is a boy dominated class so the few girls who choose to enroll are usually underappreciated. In my senior year I began a technical drawing help class for girls which took place during the weekends in the girls' hostel. With time and contribution from all the girls in the group, everyone began improving significantly and girls became huge represents for the course. Students from other departments joined the group and after a while our little group expanded and we began teaching subjects ranging from further mathematics to literature. You can even imagine the shock and pride we felt when we found out the boys had taken a hint and began the same thing in their hostel.
Although not a formally recognized school organization, the tutoring program I believe was a huge contribution to the development of the student body, and I am more than pleased knowing the even after my set's graduation, the present senior class has continued the program.
Outside of school however, during the holidays, I provided free lessons and help with homework to the small children surrounding me. Most of my neighbors are children with ages from 2 to 10 years old who don't have any elder siblings to help them with their homework. So most of the time they come to my house for help, which I willingly offer. Most of my classmates and friends lived far away so my siblings would help whenever then had the chance. After a while parents began donating money which I used to buy a white board and markers to effectively teach the children.
In school or at home, contributing to the people and community around me with activities such as this is something I am extremely happy to participate in. (318 words)
