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'twelve years of Catholic schooling' who or what influenced your decision to apply-BU



jrand17 2 / 6  
Dec 9, 2008   #1
Students consider many different factors when applying to college. Briefly discuss who or what influenced your decision to apply to Boston University:

I walk through the clean streets under 19th century brownstones close to hundreds of shops and eateries, periodically gazing up to the sky, thereafter spotting a viridian-hued garden nearby. I walk through an archaic building, greeted by the grief and mourning of 200 year old civilians-freedom fighters troubled by British presence. I walk through a festival, people dancing in the street, vendors on the sidewalks selling sausages and Red Sox tee shirts, all shadowed by a large Citgo sign and an ancient stadium bountiful in history and excitement. Amid the excitement, I turn to my cousin and shout, "I love Boston!"

I enjoy great atmosphere; being immersed in the moment of bliss. When I went on a weekend trip with my uncle and cousin to Boston, I was overwhelmed by the euphoria felt at BU, specifically along Bay State and BU Beach.

Throughout my life, I have been open to the ideal of balance between unity and diversity. Even so, going to the university augmented my ideas for possibilities and opportunities associated with diversity and an integrated community. Since my brief visit, I have been eager to broaden my horizons, associate with a multi-cultural student body and faculty, and essentially step out to fit in.

With the diversity of the students and faculty, come certain sociable opportunities I would not have with many other universities. With one of the largest international percentages of students, I feel learning can take place not only in the classroom, but in the dorms, libraries, and park benches.

eiiia 7 / 16  
Dec 9, 2008   #2
selling sausages

an abnormally

"I love Boston!"

I enjoy great atmosphere, especially being immersed in the moment of euphoria

When I went on a weekend trip with my uncle and cousin to Boston, I was overwhelmed by the euphoria (as you can see in the above paragraph) felt at BU, specifically along Bay State and BU Beach.

The first few lines on the second para is quite awkward like the good and bad description. You may want to revise.

Hope these suggestions help! good luck!
OP jrand17 2 / 6  
Dec 10, 2008   #3
The do and thank you !
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 10, 2008   #4
I love Boston, too! You made me want to get on a train and go there...

I wonder if "green monstah" is a proper noun that should be capitalized...

Perhaps this part is unnecessary:
Although I haven't expressed this to many people,

Maybe just start that part with: I enjoy great atmosphere. Something about...

Good luck at BU!!! And when you go to get your books from the campus store, be prepared to spend a lot of time because they are often quite disorganized at that place!!!
OP jrand17 2 / 6  
Dec 10, 2008   #5
Thank you
OP jrand17 2 / 6  
Dec 11, 2008   #6
OK thank you guys for you consideration.
eiiia 7 / 16  
Dec 12, 2008   #7
Just some adjustments to the first line of last para for your consideration:

The diversity at BU creates networking opportunities that I would probably not have at many other universities.


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