"Twelve years in Thailand" - Bryn Mawr - What I will gain and contribute

Twelve years in Thailand has pretty much shaped my background, and simultaneously, my years in an international school have had such a huge influence on me. My experience in a community of international teachers and friends has taught me to appreciate and embrace different cultures. As of now, I believe that I am a truly international student. Although I still practice my country's traditional values, there are often times when I see myself with opinions that contradict values of my home country. I believe that in the community of Bryn Mawr, my experience and values will add up to its diversity.

Despite its beautiful campus, excellent location, and outstanding academic reputation, the number one reason that I chose Bryn Mawr is it promises to prepare and teach students how to think and reason in the outside world. After all, knowledge alone cannot complete a high quality scholar, and Bryn Mawr understands that idea. In addition, in a community of intellectual and strong women, I believe that I will be given wide range of chances that other institutions will not be able to offer.

I understand that when a college looks for a student, it looks for an individual who can make contributions to different areas, and without any doubt, it is the same for a student. Attending college during the most enthusiastic and active period of life is a once in a lifetime chance, and I know that I will have a full college experience at Bryn Mawr.

please help me proofread & suggestions please :)

Hi, I would like to help but I don't know what the prompt is. Could you also post the prompt?

In the mean time, it seems that the gist of your essay is why the college is suitable for you. This is fine as it is, but it might be better if you can find some specific programs that they have so they know you are really interested in their college. Just my two cents. Good luck :).

my essay topic was wat i can contribute to and gain from bryn mawr :)

Let's trim the excess:
As of now, I believe that I am a truly international student.

I think you cannot "practice" values...Although I still practice uphold my country's traditional values, there are often times when I often see myself with opinions that contradict values of my home country them. ---And look at how I chopped out some wordy phrases so make it more efficient. Do that to the whole essay, and the whole thing becomes more intense.

Let's have a little more discussion of your goals and plans. That is the most important stuff to mention.

:-)