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UCF admission essay (why did I choose to apply and family influence)



gizzy1376 1 / 1  
Apr 8, 2009   #1
Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

The University of Central Florida highly fulfills the characteristics of a dream learning institution. Ever since I moved to the state of Florida, I was determined to look for the best University there is. I was lucky to be introduced by my high school counselor to one of the best schools in the country. In account of my never ending ambition to have a degree in the medical field, I decided to apply to UCF because I want to be taught by what I believe to be the best staff in all central Florida. UCF's science programs provide students the tools to succeed and explore in depth the applications of real life skills, guiding them step by step toward a better and brighter future in the discipline. This is the kind of education that I always dreamt of obtaining, an education that will encourage me to be the best that I can be, in an institution that prioritizes the development of its students and focuses in stimulating them by providing them the best learning environment. It would be an honor for me to be able to call myself an UCF pupil- An UCF knight. I am more than certain that acceptance to your prestigious University will mold the path to my success and will open many doors throughout my life in the career of my choosing.

How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

Approximately three years ago my family immigrated to the United States from Colombia with the hopes of living the American dream. My mother and father both have professional degrees, and have always encouraged me to pursue a career that would fulfill my own dreams and expectations. My family environment is characterized by positive reassurance and motivation, along with the determination to strive for the best. The culture shock and the adjustment have not been essay, but they have shaped the hard working and persistent person that I consider myself to be today. There have been some past situations that have humbled me, and that have made me more conscious of the needs of others, but that have strengthen my spirits to become a pillar in my household and a role model for my little sister. My family likes to go by the saying "Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough". therefore, I owe my parents and the environment I have been raised in, the individual I have grown to be today and possibly the prosperous person I will be tomorrow.

EF_Sean 6 / 3459  
Apr 8, 2009   #2
Well, you've got the right tone for the first one. Unfortunately, I could substitute another university's name for UCF, and it would still work, without any additional editing. So, to improve, you need to add specific details that only apply to UCF, to show how much you appreciate that unique institution.

The second one suffers from much the same problem. It is well-written enough, but, apart from the immigrating from Columbia part, it could have been written by at least half of the people applying Use personal anecdotes and specific details to make yourself stand out from the crowd.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Apr 9, 2009   #3
The University of Central Florida highly has fulfills the characteristics of a dream-school, a learning institution that I would be privileged to attend. Ever since I moved to the state of Florida, I was determined to look for the best University available .

Approximately Three years ago...

...with the hopes of living the American dream.

These are pretty great! I think it would be better if, in the first one, you mention the name of a specific faculty member that you admire or a special resource or club at the school.
OP gizzy1376 1 / 1  
Apr 9, 2009   #4
Thank you so much it has been very helpful!


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