I would be very grateful for ANY feedback on my University of Chicago application essay. I was hoping for general feedback on the essay as a whole, such as whether it's impressive, how well it answers the prompt, what it says about me as a person, etc.
Thank you in advance! Anyway, here goes:
Prompt: Find X.
The crisscrossing lines of the letter x have always held a special place in our hearts. They represent the great mysteries, the family crest of knowledge and the unknown. From terrorizing algebra students to marking a pirate's gold, we have used the letter x to symbolize the most important, the most frightening, and the most fascinating things in our lives. To find x is to find a solution to a problem. For convenience, many choose to alter the semantics: the unfulfillment of one's dreams is the problem; the assumed solution is its realization. However, such dreams can suffer great change, even over short periods of time. In few cases do specific dreams persist for years, even fewer for decades. Therefore, accurate analysis of someone's character and essential motives requires a subtler metric: the direction in which that person's aspirations shift over time. Time is represented on graphs along the x-axis as the independent variable; it does not have its destiny determined: it determines the destiny of others. Extending the mathematical analogy, such the direction in which one's aspirations shift over time can be expressed as dx/dt, the change of x with respect to time. Personally, I can identify a theme of dreams within my own life: the continual refinement of the desire to connect ideas.
Although my early goals consisted mostly of basic and instinctive desires, my fascination with connections set me apart, even as a child. While my peers contented themselves with candy and stand-alone toys, I persistently sought after durable toys which retained complete compatibility with each other. Although similar desires are surely present in the minds of all children (as evidenced by the success of Legos), mine seemed to have been greater in degree; the very notion that I could create something original out of these combinations fascinated me. In my young eyes, almost everything worth knowing seemed to have an ancient answer; I saw no new frontier; thus, I married the creativity offered in these toys to youthful romanticism. As I grew, I began to channel this impractical idealism to academic subjects and computers, where meaningful and useful connections abounded all the more.
In elementary school, I met many brave new ideas, some of which profoundly altered my goals to come. Needless to say, the ideas which interested me tended to reside in my science books, and, as time progressed, I began to admire the physical sciences above all others. Despite the inherent superficiality of scientific explanations proffered in primary school, I still gleaned several meaningful connections. For instance, even oversimplified kinetic theory connected the mechanics of nature's essential particles to the movement of elastic balls on a macroscopic scale. The abundance of similar scientific models began to inhabit my mind, and soon enough I yearned to contribute to science. My fascination with connections became an obsession: I was intrigued the way molecules bond with each other to make up everything, how combinations of quarks make up molecules, and how these particles behaved on a quantum level. I held over-detailed dreams of my future as an engineer, astronomer, or entrepreneur. Although my x found no firm ground in these years, my dx/dt held fairly constant: I continued to delight in purer and purer webs of ideas.
When I dreamt of connections in the sciences, I regarded computers as a tool to relieve the imagination. As I studied elegant mathematical proofs and lines of code, the purity and relevance of each statement enthralled me. Every step of writing a program fit more perfectly than any toy and proved truer than any physical model. Perhaps most fascinating about computing, I found, was the fact that useful tools could be made with nothing but the symbols on my keyboard and a good bit of creativity. Independent mathematical and computational further solidified this realization. Indeed, without outside instruction, I had developed my own mobile user interface app; a mobile security software followed about a year afterwards. Although insignificant in the scheme of computing, these discoveries gave me a glimpse of freer and cleverer connections. I began to dream of a future career in involving computing, mathematics, and the physical sciences. The grand trend of my aspirations again settled in a realm better suited for connections.
At this time, I still hold dreams of achieving something of merit within the field of computers. Considering the hitherto enumerated experiences, however, my dreams may evolve to admire another field of study or expertise. That is, my x may still change in the future. Luckily, though, my dx/dt remains fairly constant: if I do change x, I will do so by setting my heart on a purer system of connections. Fortunately, the University of Chicago's Institute of Molecular Engineering provides an ideal environment in which my dreams can grow and develop without artificial restraint. At this school, I could potentially fall in love with nuclear physics, chemistry, or even biology and still graduate with competitive proficiency in the major and a prestigious degree. If, however, my x has permanently rested upon the connection of ideas; if I continue to delight in the search for mathematical patterns; Chicago gives me unlimited room to express myself, especially since it's one of the few universities with a molecular engineering program. Whatever my future yields, I hope to spend many years of meaningful education at the University of Chicago, whose assistance can help me approach my x (even if x slightly changes from time to time.)
Thank you in advance! Anyway, here goes:
Prompt: Find X.
The crisscrossing lines of the letter x have always held a special place in our hearts. They represent the great mysteries, the family crest of knowledge and the unknown. From terrorizing algebra students to marking a pirate's gold, we have used the letter x to symbolize the most important, the most frightening, and the most fascinating things in our lives. To find x is to find a solution to a problem. For convenience, many choose to alter the semantics: the unfulfillment of one's dreams is the problem; the assumed solution is its realization. However, such dreams can suffer great change, even over short periods of time. In few cases do specific dreams persist for years, even fewer for decades. Therefore, accurate analysis of someone's character and essential motives requires a subtler metric: the direction in which that person's aspirations shift over time. Time is represented on graphs along the x-axis as the independent variable; it does not have its destiny determined: it determines the destiny of others. Extending the mathematical analogy, such the direction in which one's aspirations shift over time can be expressed as dx/dt, the change of x with respect to time. Personally, I can identify a theme of dreams within my own life: the continual refinement of the desire to connect ideas.
Although my early goals consisted mostly of basic and instinctive desires, my fascination with connections set me apart, even as a child. While my peers contented themselves with candy and stand-alone toys, I persistently sought after durable toys which retained complete compatibility with each other. Although similar desires are surely present in the minds of all children (as evidenced by the success of Legos), mine seemed to have been greater in degree; the very notion that I could create something original out of these combinations fascinated me. In my young eyes, almost everything worth knowing seemed to have an ancient answer; I saw no new frontier; thus, I married the creativity offered in these toys to youthful romanticism. As I grew, I began to channel this impractical idealism to academic subjects and computers, where meaningful and useful connections abounded all the more.
In elementary school, I met many brave new ideas, some of which profoundly altered my goals to come. Needless to say, the ideas which interested me tended to reside in my science books, and, as time progressed, I began to admire the physical sciences above all others. Despite the inherent superficiality of scientific explanations proffered in primary school, I still gleaned several meaningful connections. For instance, even oversimplified kinetic theory connected the mechanics of nature's essential particles to the movement of elastic balls on a macroscopic scale. The abundance of similar scientific models began to inhabit my mind, and soon enough I yearned to contribute to science. My fascination with connections became an obsession: I was intrigued the way molecules bond with each other to make up everything, how combinations of quarks make up molecules, and how these particles behaved on a quantum level. I held over-detailed dreams of my future as an engineer, astronomer, or entrepreneur. Although my x found no firm ground in these years, my dx/dt held fairly constant: I continued to delight in purer and purer webs of ideas.
When I dreamt of connections in the sciences, I regarded computers as a tool to relieve the imagination. As I studied elegant mathematical proofs and lines of code, the purity and relevance of each statement enthralled me. Every step of writing a program fit more perfectly than any toy and proved truer than any physical model. Perhaps most fascinating about computing, I found, was the fact that useful tools could be made with nothing but the symbols on my keyboard and a good bit of creativity. Independent mathematical and computational further solidified this realization. Indeed, without outside instruction, I had developed my own mobile user interface app; a mobile security software followed about a year afterwards. Although insignificant in the scheme of computing, these discoveries gave me a glimpse of freer and cleverer connections. I began to dream of a future career in involving computing, mathematics, and the physical sciences. The grand trend of my aspirations again settled in a realm better suited for connections.
At this time, I still hold dreams of achieving something of merit within the field of computers. Considering the hitherto enumerated experiences, however, my dreams may evolve to admire another field of study or expertise. That is, my x may still change in the future. Luckily, though, my dx/dt remains fairly constant: if I do change x, I will do so by setting my heart on a purer system of connections. Fortunately, the University of Chicago's Institute of Molecular Engineering provides an ideal environment in which my dreams can grow and develop without artificial restraint. At this school, I could potentially fall in love with nuclear physics, chemistry, or even biology and still graduate with competitive proficiency in the major and a prestigious degree. If, however, my x has permanently rested upon the connection of ideas; if I continue to delight in the search for mathematical patterns; Chicago gives me unlimited room to express myself, especially since it's one of the few universities with a molecular engineering program. Whatever my future yields, I hope to spend many years of meaningful education at the University of Chicago, whose assistance can help me approach my x (even if x slightly changes from time to time.)