Hey guys, I'd like some feedback on my essays (300 words or less for each) for UIUC. They talk about similar fields, whether or not it's good or bad.
In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.
The world of technology is ever-growing and ever-diversifying to satisfy the needs and demands of our modernizing society. It is the driving force of progress in our world, creating far-reaching possibilities that were once though to be impossible. Even as a child, I was fascinated with the world of technology and its triumphs, taking all possible opportunities to expand my knowledge as well as share it with those around me.
There are many realms within technology from creation to modification to application. I find my interests lie with all three. Yet I am not solely driven by technology; with my father running his own small business, I have developed an interest in the business world. This two interests of mine are interlocking as technology is an integral part of business, and thus I have been inspire to take my passion of technology and apply it to the workplace. Thus I have found Information Systems and Technology to be my calling.
In Economic terms, I tend to seek out efficiency. I've always been, and always will be, a logical thinker and a critical thinker; I have a keen ability to identify problems within a system as well as solve them in an efficient manner. Information Systems and Technology is a path that allows me to take my passion of technology and explore it through my thinking path. I want to take the role of not only the problem solver but also the chief architect of a firm through a tech-based outlet: my desire and my nature prowess.
In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
It was the first day of summer camp and like all young, shy, kids, I was quite nervous. I had never been to TechKnowHow before, and I didn't know anybody; thankfully I was only signed up half day. Bob was my teacher for the week and through his kindness and passion for teaching I was able to open up to the class and fully explore the planned Lego buildings and introductory programming. In fact, when it came time for lunch, and my departure as a half-day camper, I begged my mom to enroll me the afternoon game design class, where I can confidently say my passion for technology started.
This first day at camp started me off with my summer-long (and life-long) trips to TechKnowHow. I eventually grew too old for the camps but Bob saw my passion and encouraged me to move on to a teaching role; this was one of the greatest pieces of advice I had ever received.
I can't think of anything more rewarding to me than my work with TechKnowHow: being able to bring my passion and knowledge of technology to a new generation is phenomenal. Over the course of the summer there are always those times when you wish weren't there: accidents, arguments, errors, and general irritation. But I always bear through these moments because seeing a child smile after he accomplished what he thought was unthinkable, or begging his mom to enroll him again is so worth it.
Through this, I have learned the joys of helping others; bringing to them what Bob had brought to me. It has been a maturing experience for me, granting me compassion, patience, and reliability so that I can help lay the foundation for the next generation.
Thanks in advance and Happy New Year! (That's when it's due :P)
In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.
The world of technology is ever-growing and ever-diversifying to satisfy the needs and demands of our modernizing society. It is the driving force of progress in our world, creating far-reaching possibilities that were once though to be impossible. Even as a child, I was fascinated with the world of technology and its triumphs, taking all possible opportunities to expand my knowledge as well as share it with those around me.
There are many realms within technology from creation to modification to application. I find my interests lie with all three. Yet I am not solely driven by technology; with my father running his own small business, I have developed an interest in the business world. This two interests of mine are interlocking as technology is an integral part of business, and thus I have been inspire to take my passion of technology and apply it to the workplace. Thus I have found Information Systems and Technology to be my calling.
In Economic terms, I tend to seek out efficiency. I've always been, and always will be, a logical thinker and a critical thinker; I have a keen ability to identify problems within a system as well as solve them in an efficient manner. Information Systems and Technology is a path that allows me to take my passion of technology and explore it through my thinking path. I want to take the role of not only the problem solver but also the chief architect of a firm through a tech-based outlet: my desire and my nature prowess.
In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
It was the first day of summer camp and like all young, shy, kids, I was quite nervous. I had never been to TechKnowHow before, and I didn't know anybody; thankfully I was only signed up half day. Bob was my teacher for the week and through his kindness and passion for teaching I was able to open up to the class and fully explore the planned Lego buildings and introductory programming. In fact, when it came time for lunch, and my departure as a half-day camper, I begged my mom to enroll me the afternoon game design class, where I can confidently say my passion for technology started.
This first day at camp started me off with my summer-long (and life-long) trips to TechKnowHow. I eventually grew too old for the camps but Bob saw my passion and encouraged me to move on to a teaching role; this was one of the greatest pieces of advice I had ever received.
I can't think of anything more rewarding to me than my work with TechKnowHow: being able to bring my passion and knowledge of technology to a new generation is phenomenal. Over the course of the summer there are always those times when you wish weren't there: accidents, arguments, errors, and general irritation. But I always bear through these moments because seeing a child smile after he accomplished what he thought was unthinkable, or begging his mom to enroll him again is so worth it.
Through this, I have learned the joys of helping others; bringing to them what Bob had brought to me. It has been a maturing experience for me, granting me compassion, patience, and reliability so that I can help lay the foundation for the next generation.
Thanks in advance and Happy New Year! (That's when it's due :P)
