Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.
In my opinion, for every success we achieve, we owe a lot to people around us. I believe that the best way to pay this debt is through our active involvement in any constructive action. It is when we fulfill this duty, that we can have a moral satisfaction through seeing the happy faces of those around us.
I will never forget that important day because of the impact it brought upon my life and its influence in defining me afterwards. It was my first time to stand in front of children who considered me as their teacher. When I started teaching, I felt their open mindedness, curiosity, and their hope to see a brighter tomorrow. These were children who had lost their parents and left alone with no one by their side. However, someone with sympathy and who felt responsible gave them shelter, food and access to education. For a while, I thought of their bleak past and compared it to their life at that moment. They now have the dream of a brighter future like most of us. Their spirit was alive with freshness and energy to make sense of that life that they did not get the chance to experience before. Their smiling faces showed me my little importance for them and on the sour side; it reminded me of the illiterate community that helped me reach my present status. I felt that my entire life would not be long enough to pay the debts that I owe that community which sacrificed everything for my present personality.
When the setting sun was giving way to the rising moon, I left the orphanage and set on with my journey towards my home. As I was walking past through the streets of my town, I felt my personal pride fading away. I was feeling guilty that I had not done my best to change such situations that I have been seeing in my day to day life. In the next few days, besides teaching the kids in the orphanage, I was deeply engaged in telling myself that I can be responsible for what tomorrow will look like. I was fully confident that only my determination, purpose and consistent effort are what will determine the accomplishment of this big dream. That significant day made me realize that I have to first fulfill my simple duties in order to manage the harder and challenging situations I will face in the future. I vowed to my self to take the initiative and responsibility in my academics and extracurricular activities.
It was from that day on that I made myself believe that I have to put my best thought and effort in every activity I am involved in. I have seen the considerable influence of that particular day on my high school life and I am quite certain that the positive outcomes of that day will also play a major role in my contribution to the UF campus community. I do really believe that the decisions I made and the important facts that I became acquainted with about my own self because of that day, will help me handle challenging situations that I will face in my future life.
These were children who had lost their parents and left alone with no one by their side; however , someone with sympathy and who felt responsible gave them shelter, food and access to education.
It was from that day on that I made myself believe that I have to put my best thought and effort in every activity I am involved (DON'T END SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION).
I have seen the considerable influence of that particular day on my high school life, and I am quite certain that the positive outcomes of that day will also play a major role in my contribution to the UF campus community.
Good job! A few comma issues. Don't end sentences with a preposition. Other than that, great. Good luck!
