Before September of this year, I had never even heard of Swarthmore College. By that time, I had my list of college applications finished, and decided I wasn't going to change anything. However, a colleague of my mother, an alumnus, told her about Swarthmore.
I was reluctant at first because I thought that I had my application list set in stone. However, I decided that there was nothing to lose. When he first started talking to me, he asked me about my interests and hobbies. After I gave him this information, he evaluated my interests and said that Swarthmore would be perfect for me. He explained to me that Swarthmore was a very unique university in that it was a very well renowned liberal arts college but also had an excellent engineering school as well, which is what I am pursuing. He then continued to explain some more facets of the university that were interesting to me. According to him, the way the curriculums in the university are designed help expose you to a new way of thinking that is much more critical. He continued to explain to me that the environment at Swarthmore is very intimate and there are lifelong friendships and professional relationships established with fellow peers and professors at this school. He continued speaking and took the trouble to explain some of the very specific aspects of the school such as campus life and classes that really made me think seriously about this school. After our conversation, I went and researched more and I realized that after what he said and what I saw that this is the right school for me.
Why did I change my mind so quickly, after having not even heard about Swarthmore? I just realized that it was unique and had more to offer. I had never really thought about a small, liberal arts college like Swarthmore, however now that I know it offers engineering, this school is even more appealing to me. It seems that every feature of this school appeals to me in some sort of way, and that is why I have chosen Swarthmore.
In the second paragraph, you talk a lot about the man who made you interested in the college. If you could somehow re-word it where you don't talk much about him (like when you began various sentences with "according to him" or "he continued") it will seem more personal and it won't seem like you were persuaded/convinced to join it.
Perhaps just talk about him in two sentences only on how he played a roll in your influence of wanting to learn more about Swarthmore, and then finding all the things about that college that made you seek to join it.
