I'm applying RD for Penn Engineering, and have a word limit of 650 to work with.
I'm most unsure about the last two paragraphs, though I don't know exactly where to begin with editing. Any feedback is wholly appreciated!
Prompt: The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals. (400-650 words)
Penn as an institution is fueled by an unparalleled dedication to social responsibility. As a firm believer that pragmatism, service and application must accompany an education, Penn's connections to the Philadelphia and worldwide community naturally attract me. With countless Penn-based service initiatives, such as CommuniTech's commitment to green computing and Penn's Engineers without Borders chapter's (PennEWB) work to expand global technological accessibility, I am awed by the variety and volume of citizenship in the Penn student body. Inspired by the enthusiasm that fuels these programs, I will likely find myself using my background in science and computer studies to volunteer, helping young students to access the bountiful resources of technology and programming. Barring that, I will search unceasingly to extend classroom material and practical scientific applications to humanity's benefit in any form possible. There is, quite simply, no other school like Penn Engineering that inspires such a high level of service in its students.
The highly inter-disciplinary nature of a Penn Engineering is astounding. The freedom of students to take courses in all of Penn's 12 schools is something that I plan to take full advantage of, forging an education of practical science with a very strong connection to the arts and sciences. Such are the components of a truly useful education, for I hold that only breadth in one's undergraduate experience can truly prepare a student for the future challenges in science and engineering that must be resolved.
The breadth of Penn's education is evident in its student-run activities, particularly in the Penn model congress program. As a delegate in the 2013 conference in the Commerce, Science and Transportation committee, I debated policy dealing with research and technological endeavors before two chairs, one a mechanical engineering student, the other a bioengineering student. The energy with which they conducted the committee sessions was unparalleled, and encouraged me to combine my passions of science and politics to fuel discussion over the most pressing issues of energy, space and sustainability with a cooperative spirit. My fellow delegates during that time had passed a plethora of resolutions expand thorium-based power, reduce space waste, and promote new developments in scientific education. The heavy involvement of Penn Engineering students in Model Congress truly astonished me as the perfect exhibit of how Penn bridges the gaps between the applied sciences and politics, bringing together multiple areas of study to inspire cooperative and meaningful action. I savored the dynamic experience of model congress in my short half-week stay at the Inn at Penn, and I believe that I can both contribute and thrive in the spirit of interdisciplinary fervor which permeates campus.
Cooperation and breadth at Penn are similarly evident in the bounty of exciting research projects and opportunities at Penn Engineering. I am particularly intrigued by the Penn Center for Energy Innovation, or "Pennergy", for its mission of expanding the use of sustainable and renewable energy. Its research in the application of solar energy is nothing short of groundbreaking, and captivates me, enticing me to partake in the active research environment that Penn so proudly provides. The bonds that I may ultimately develop with fellow students and faculty through discovery in research are sure to be lasting.
Apart from the sciences, however, I am certain to fully explore life at Penn as a passionate learner. Over eight years of violin study and performance will compel me to join the ranks of Penn's symphony orchestra, and a natural appreciation of politics will inevitably draw me to Penn Model Congress as a committee chair. No matter where I find myself among the student body at Penn Engineering, I am confident that I will add to the vibrant environment that the university fosters.
I'm most unsure about the last two paragraphs, though I don't know exactly where to begin with editing. Any feedback is wholly appreciated!
Prompt: The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals. (400-650 words)
Penn as an institution is fueled by an unparalleled dedication to social responsibility. As a firm believer that pragmatism, service and application must accompany an education, Penn's connections to the Philadelphia and worldwide community naturally attract me. With countless Penn-based service initiatives, such as CommuniTech's commitment to green computing and Penn's Engineers without Borders chapter's (PennEWB) work to expand global technological accessibility, I am awed by the variety and volume of citizenship in the Penn student body. Inspired by the enthusiasm that fuels these programs, I will likely find myself using my background in science and computer studies to volunteer, helping young students to access the bountiful resources of technology and programming. Barring that, I will search unceasingly to extend classroom material and practical scientific applications to humanity's benefit in any form possible. There is, quite simply, no other school like Penn Engineering that inspires such a high level of service in its students.
The highly inter-disciplinary nature of a Penn Engineering is astounding. The freedom of students to take courses in all of Penn's 12 schools is something that I plan to take full advantage of, forging an education of practical science with a very strong connection to the arts and sciences. Such are the components of a truly useful education, for I hold that only breadth in one's undergraduate experience can truly prepare a student for the future challenges in science and engineering that must be resolved.
The breadth of Penn's education is evident in its student-run activities, particularly in the Penn model congress program. As a delegate in the 2013 conference in the Commerce, Science and Transportation committee, I debated policy dealing with research and technological endeavors before two chairs, one a mechanical engineering student, the other a bioengineering student. The energy with which they conducted the committee sessions was unparalleled, and encouraged me to combine my passions of science and politics to fuel discussion over the most pressing issues of energy, space and sustainability with a cooperative spirit. My fellow delegates during that time had passed a plethora of resolutions expand thorium-based power, reduce space waste, and promote new developments in scientific education. The heavy involvement of Penn Engineering students in Model Congress truly astonished me as the perfect exhibit of how Penn bridges the gaps between the applied sciences and politics, bringing together multiple areas of study to inspire cooperative and meaningful action. I savored the dynamic experience of model congress in my short half-week stay at the Inn at Penn, and I believe that I can both contribute and thrive in the spirit of interdisciplinary fervor which permeates campus.
Cooperation and breadth at Penn are similarly evident in the bounty of exciting research projects and opportunities at Penn Engineering. I am particularly intrigued by the Penn Center for Energy Innovation, or "Pennergy", for its mission of expanding the use of sustainable and renewable energy. Its research in the application of solar energy is nothing short of groundbreaking, and captivates me, enticing me to partake in the active research environment that Penn so proudly provides. The bonds that I may ultimately develop with fellow students and faculty through discovery in research are sure to be lasting.
Apart from the sciences, however, I am certain to fully explore life at Penn as a passionate learner. Over eight years of violin study and performance will compel me to join the ranks of Penn's symphony orchestra, and a natural appreciation of politics will inevitably draw me to Penn Model Congress as a committee chair. No matter where I find myself among the student body at Penn Engineering, I am confident that I will add to the vibrant environment that the university fosters.
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