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University of Rochester in the field of engineering, subject and learning situations



greenlittlebean 2 / 4  
Dec 25, 2010   #1
Write about the subjects and learning situations that interest you most, and how you intend to use your autonomy here.

I'm interested in the engineering field. It all started at the age of four when I started taking art classes. Since then art was a hobby of mine and I had always excel in it. After studying art for four years in two art high schools, this hobby of mine had became a career I want to pursue. Engineering is the specific field I want to go into, it involves designing and creating structures as well as science; both I have adequate experience in. Designing something is one of the best ways to express myself and it will serve the community at the same time. I believe that I will strive in University of Rochester in the field of engineering.

Adrian396 1 / 4  
Dec 25, 2010   #2
Try playing around with your sentence structures. keep your writing lively and appealing.

For example, instead of "I'm interested in the engineering field." try, "The field of engineering is one that has fascinated me from a very young age"

oh and "I had always excel in it." should be, "I had always excelled in it."
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 5, 2011   #3
I'm interested in the engineering field.

This gets your essay off to a slow start! Let's replace it with an interesting, meaningful sentence. At least extend it so that it carries some meaning.

Great corrections from Adrian!

The word strive means to try hard. I think you used it incorrectly. I also think it is always a bad idea to write "I believe" in an essay. "I believe" is always a weak way to start a sentence!

:-)


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