Hey all, I've recently submitted my supplemental essay to the Common App website, but before I finalize the application, I decided to seek out some professional advice and critiques. The Rochester supplement asks: - The University of Rochester offers many rare advantages, building from our "Meliora" ("ever-better") motto that has inspired generations of scholars, professionals, and artists. Describe what's leading you to apply, and what kind of "Meliora" experiences you want to have here at Rochester and beyond.
Below is the submitted form of my Rochester supplement. Are there any grammatical corrections that any of you could suggest? I think I definitely explained what the college could give to me, but what about what I could bring to the college?
Sometimes I wonder why we no longer have any Aristotles or Leonardos in the world among us today. Why're there no masters of nearly every field of academia, polymaths who can, one day, change the way we perceive the world that is beneath our feet, and then the heavens on the next? As I studied throughout my academic career, I developed a fascination with the biological sciences, a passion for European culture and history, and an inclination towards music appreciation. It was then that I noticed every student has a unique set of interests, a unique set of passions, so why should they be directed to choose a conventional, uniform education identical to every other student's in that field? I am applying to the University of Rochester because I want to study exactly what I want, when I want to. The University of Rochester allows students the utmost freedom to sculpt their own unique education around their unique interests and passions through the cluster program.
Many university campuses are eager to accept well-rounded students, but what better school than the University of Rochester to produce well-rounded graduates? The home of the Yellow-Jackets would provide me with the opportunity to shadow medical professionals at the Strong Memorial Hospital, bringing my own research experience to one of the most distinguished institutions in the world, and then walk across campus to the University's world-renowned Eastman School of Music to watch one of my favorite musical performances, a cappela, performed by the Midnight Ramblers.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, Thank You!!
Below is the submitted form of my Rochester supplement. Are there any grammatical corrections that any of you could suggest? I think I definitely explained what the college could give to me, but what about what I could bring to the college?
Sometimes I wonder why we no longer have any Aristotles or Leonardos in the world among us today. Why're there no masters of nearly every field of academia, polymaths who can, one day, change the way we perceive the world that is beneath our feet, and then the heavens on the next? As I studied throughout my academic career, I developed a fascination with the biological sciences, a passion for European culture and history, and an inclination towards music appreciation. It was then that I noticed every student has a unique set of interests, a unique set of passions, so why should they be directed to choose a conventional, uniform education identical to every other student's in that field? I am applying to the University of Rochester because I want to study exactly what I want, when I want to. The University of Rochester allows students the utmost freedom to sculpt their own unique education around their unique interests and passions through the cluster program.
Many university campuses are eager to accept well-rounded students, but what better school than the University of Rochester to produce well-rounded graduates? The home of the Yellow-Jackets would provide me with the opportunity to shadow medical professionals at the Strong Memorial Hospital, bringing my own research experience to one of the most distinguished institutions in the world, and then walk across campus to the University's world-renowned Eastman School of Music to watch one of my favorite musical performances, a cappela, performed by the Midnight Ramblers.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, Thank You!!
