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Urban/Intimate/Diverse community/Excellent academic reputation ;BU- Good fit



Karla281995 6 / 15  
Dec 30, 2012   #1
In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission?

Being a native of New York, I knew that I loved the city. Upon my realization, Boston University came to mind. The city has an urban atmosphere, but yet still intimate. I know that the diverse student body and BU's excellent academic reputation will be able to provide me with opportunities that are not available at any other university. I learned that Boston University has a Sustainability Program that thrives to ameliorate our global environment. BU takes initiatives that will make an impact in our future. This is the school for me because it stands for what I believe in-the pursuit of knowledge.

I was completely sold when I discovered the COM program. First off, the city will be great to further my creativity. BU has a credible, experienced faculty ready to guide their students to a multi-media world. I would like to impact the world with breaking news and COM's student news and radio show will help me to express my communication skills while still providing me with a challenging curriculum. Furthermore, I look forward to the PhD program that COM will offer. This new advancement will be able to impact many students like myself to advance in our ever-changing social media.

All constructive criticism is welcomed. Do I fully answer the question? And do I talk specifically about BU? Grammatical errors? Name them!
Thank you!

icanfly1 - / 8  
Dec 30, 2012   #2
I knew that I loved the city

Doesn't fit in with the fact of why you would apply to BU as opposed to colleges in NYC like NYU.
*edit* I know what you mean. You should say that you want your college experience to be in an URBAN area. Confusing grammar.

The cityof Boston has an urban atmosphere, but yet still intimate

I know that the diverse student body and BU's excellent academic reputation will be able to provide me with opportunities that are not available at any other university

Sounds way too generic.

This is the school for me because it stands for what I believe in-the pursuit of knowledge

This is your closing statement, not the transition statement from two paragraphs.

BU has a credible, experienced faculty ready to guide their students to a multi-media world.

If their staff wasn't credible, then they should get fired lololol.

So here's the problem: you're explaining to BU about their own programs. They want you to connect your interests, and see if it matches their offered courses. Go to BU's website and look critically at each and every opportunity, and find the unique points Boston features that no other top 50 university has. Make references to your character. Just remember that BU wants to know WHO you are, not what you think THEY are. Good luck! Still have two more days.
alicederp 10 / 56  
Dec 30, 2012   #3
Hi there,

Sorry what? "Being a native of New York, I knew that I loved the city. Upon my realization, Boston University came to mind." But Boston is not in New York...

I think this is a nicely written piece of work and it shows that you know the school. However, it focuses a bit too much on the school. They already know they have an awesome program. You should talk about how you decided on your major THEN how BU's COM program compliments it.

Please help with my carnegie mellon supplement! Any suggestions or comments are appreciated.
OP Karla281995 6 / 15  
Dec 30, 2012   #4
Thank you so much. The both of you. Probably the best critic I've received.
icanfly1 - / 8  
Dec 30, 2012   #5
Don't get too discouraged. Once you find the correct website, writing your essay is just the icing on the cake :)
Dabbagh 7 / 11  
Dec 30, 2012   #6
Karla281995
- " but yet still intimate"
sounds a bit awkward. I don't think there's a need for the but.

- " I know that the diverse student body and BU's excellent academic reputation will be able to provide me with opportunities that are not available at any other university."

back it up. Explain what those opportunities are, and how BU is the best place to find them.

-" First off, the city will be great to further my creativity."
This seems a bit off-topic. Try to better relate it to the COM program, since you started talking about it in the previous sentence.

Just adding to the previous posters. Good luck!
lkaradsheh 1 / 8  
Dec 30, 2012   #7
I agree with the criticism, can you upload an updated answer because I believe there's nothing left for you to improve.
Can any of you please help me out with my NYU supplements?

Thank you :)
OP Karla281995 6 / 15  
Dec 30, 2012   #8
In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission?

As we stood before the grand school, my father made me imagine a finished canvas. He let me rediscover a work of art that would have been at Boston University. Although too naĂŻve to understand, he said he regretted not applying to BU. He spoke about the long line of history that resides in Boston and its educational legacy. Upon deciding where to apply, Boston University came to mind. The city has an urban atmosphere, but is intimate enough to fulfill my curiosity. I know that the diverse student body and BU's excellent academic reputation will be able to provide me with opportunities that are not available at any other university. BU takes initiatives to impact our future like the Sustainability Program. This is the school for me because it stands for what I believe in-the pursuit of knowledge.

I was completely sold when I discovered the COM program. First off, the city will be great to further my creativity. BU's experienced faculty is prepared to guide me through this multi-media world. I would like to impact the world with breaking news and COM's student news and radio show will help me to express my communication skills while still providing me with a challenging curriculum. Furthermore, I look forward to the PhD program that COM will offer. This new advancement will be able to impact many students like myself to advance in our ever-changing social media. I know that BU is my campus, at the stroke of my wrist, I will paint my future.

I'm actually 4 word over the limit. Let me know how I can cut down.
I'll be glad to help you with yours.
icanfly1 - / 8  
Dec 30, 2012   #9
he said he regretted not applying to BU

Fix up.

A few years later, upon deciding where to apply, Boston University came to mind.

I know thatWith BU as my campus, I will paint my future at the stroke of my wrist.BU is my campus, at the stroke of my wrist, I will paint my future .

As for the word count, try removing adjectives. Otherwise this is a much better revision!


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