Hi! So I need some help with this essay...I'm not sure if I'm answering the prompt completely/correctly...and I would like some help on the conclusion. I'm also about 10 words over the limit. Thanks!
College of Arts and Sciences - What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
Imagine hot, golden french fries that are crunchy on the outside and wonderfully fake potato-y and squishy on the inside. Now fade out to a sizzling hamburger patty falling effortlessly in slow-motion and being caught by a sesame-studded bun- these images are just samples of how the fast food industry hooks Americans onto their food. How did this happen?
Starting from a very young age, kids are bombarded with fast food commercials, more than any other advertisement. Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser opened my eyes to the negative influence that advertisements have on what children eat.The book conjures up disgust towards the fast food industry because with toys and friendly mascots, these companies lead children to consume unhealthy products.
Before reading Fast Food Nation, it never occurred to me how intentional fast food advertisements were because, like many others, I had fallen into the trap. The lure of warm and fatty foods blinded me to why I was drawn to the food in the first place, which was mainly because of the images from catchy commercials.
Fast Food Nation exposed to me the world we live in now, a world where advertisements are unavoidable and businesses prey on children for money. As someone who aspires to be a teacher, I may not have much say in the politics of business and advertising; however, I believe that through educating youth about the persuasive nature of advertisements, the kids will be able to guard themselves from the corrupt world. I am therefore inspired to fight to protect children by starting with the children themselves.
I like it! However, I think you should go deeper into the analysis at the end about education, because that's obviously what you're passionate about and what admissions would be most interested in hearing your take on
Esther, I was able to bring your word count down to 204 just by eliminating the filler introductory statement. Remember, when you are dealing with a word limited statement or essay, you need not use flowery words or over creative introductions as that will make you go over the word count. It is important to answer the prompt from the very start and just get your information out there for the immediate reading and understanding of the admissions officer. Here is the new version of your essay, unretouched except for the deleting introduction. you will find that it is more informative and can be read at a brisker pace in this manner. The rest of the message of your statement was alright which is why I decided not to touch it anymore. It really answered the prompt :-)
Starting from a very young age, kids are bombarded with fast food commercials, more than any other advertisement. Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser opened my eyes to the negative influence that advertisements have on what children eat.The book conjures up disgust towards the fast food industry because with toys and friendly mascots, these companies lead children to consume unhealthy products.
Before reading Fast Food Nation, it never occurred to me how intentional fast food advertisements were because, like many others, I had fallen into the trap. The lure of warm and fatty foods blinded me to why I was drawn to the food in the first place, which was mainly because of the images from catchy commercials.
Fast Food Nation exposed to me the world we live in now, a world where advertisements are unavoidable and businesses prey on children for money. As someone who aspires to be a teacher, I may not have much say in the politics of business and advertising; however, I believe that through educating youth about the persuasive nature of advertisements, the kids will be able to guard themselves from the corrupt world. I am therefore inspired to fight to protect children by starting with the children themselve s.
