These are 1st drafts, I need some help revising. Any suggestions on improving overall impact would also be appreciated. These essays stress me out. /:
Here's the prompts!
We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you.
She is from nowhere, yet has friends everywhere. Her life has been defined by its impermanence and she has mastered the delicate art of saying goodbye. She can greet you in Icelandic and she sometimes dreams in Japanese. She has watched a flag as it was raised to half-staff and learned to appreciate the fleeting nature of life. She seeks out the kids alone in the lunchroom because she too has felt the silent sting of invisibility. She has tried fried octopus and lamb dogs, realizing that to find the best things in life, you can't be afraid to try the bad too. Her world has been forged in upheaval, leaving her to haphazardly learn to be malleable. Her childhood of travel has instilled an unwavering curiosity for exploration and a craving for diversity. Even though her dad missed her birthday once, she couldn't be more proud of him, for it has been his example that has taught her to be resilient. Her name is Megan Cooney and she is a Navy brat, ready for whatever life throws at her.
The limit is 1000 characters and I'm at 998. I wrote it in third person, but I don't know if that's too risky or not... Opinions??
And the second!
What is something you created that makes you especially proud, and why?
My fingers, cracked and bleeding, bore the scars of battle that had taken their toll. My adversary was heartless, and as I slumped back down onto my scuffed stool, its venomous hum seemed to whisper an enticing order of surrender. For weeks, I had watched as my fellow amateur ceramicists brought to life what my blundering hands rendered formless. My defeat seemed to be fated, leaving me jarred when I found myself pulling up walls and spinning a shape that I recognized. With walls askew and a spiderweb of cracks spread across the base, it was clear that every aspect of the bowl was hideous. But it didn't matter to me. I had finally won the brutal war, and to my eyes, it was a masterpiece.
The limit for that one is 700 characters and I'm at 696...
Any help is appreciated and I'll return the favor! :)
Here's the prompts!
We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you.
She is from nowhere, yet has friends everywhere. Her life has been defined by its impermanence and she has mastered the delicate art of saying goodbye. She can greet you in Icelandic and she sometimes dreams in Japanese. She has watched a flag as it was raised to half-staff and learned to appreciate the fleeting nature of life. She seeks out the kids alone in the lunchroom because she too has felt the silent sting of invisibility. She has tried fried octopus and lamb dogs, realizing that to find the best things in life, you can't be afraid to try the bad too. Her world has been forged in upheaval, leaving her to haphazardly learn to be malleable. Her childhood of travel has instilled an unwavering curiosity for exploration and a craving for diversity. Even though her dad missed her birthday once, she couldn't be more proud of him, for it has been his example that has taught her to be resilient. Her name is Megan Cooney and she is a Navy brat, ready for whatever life throws at her.
The limit is 1000 characters and I'm at 998. I wrote it in third person, but I don't know if that's too risky or not... Opinions??
And the second!
What is something you created that makes you especially proud, and why?
My fingers, cracked and bleeding, bore the scars of battle that had taken their toll. My adversary was heartless, and as I slumped back down onto my scuffed stool, its venomous hum seemed to whisper an enticing order of surrender. For weeks, I had watched as my fellow amateur ceramicists brought to life what my blundering hands rendered formless. My defeat seemed to be fated, leaving me jarred when I found myself pulling up walls and spinning a shape that I recognized. With walls askew and a spiderweb of cracks spread across the base, it was clear that every aspect of the bowl was hideous. But it didn't matter to me. I had finally won the brutal war, and to my eyes, it was a masterpiece.
The limit for that one is 700 characters and I'm at 696...
Any help is appreciated and I'll return the favor! :)