Hi everyone! I would like you to critique and comment on any changes or improvement I can make to my common app essay. I would greatly appreciate it and I'll gladly return the favor. Well here it is:
Question) Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
Everyone is affected by a particular person or a group of individuals; however, the duration of the effect is what really makes an encounter significant. I have met many people who have made an impact in my life, but none have left a greater imprint in my heart than the people from a village in India. This experience taught what really matters in life and material possessions don't define one's satisfaction.
The first time I went to India was as an infant, only seven months old. There was hardly anything I could recollect from that age, which is why I told my parents I want to visit India again. After endlessly insisting on going to India, my parents finally gave in to my request. During the February break of 9th grade, my parents took me to India. When we arrived at Ahmadabad airport, the air was dusty and people were scrambling for their luggage. My first real impression of India wasn't the ideal image I visualized, and it seemed as though I would be living in unpalatable conditions.
A rickshaw picked my family up from the airport and drove us to Gavada, a tiny village in the state of Gujarat, about 2 hours away from the airport. The drive was very rugged: it felt as if there wasn't a second during the drive where I could sit without jumping out of my seat or without being smacked in the face by a whirl of dust and sand. When I finally reached the village, the scenery was exquisite, but quality of life looked pitiable. However, as I looked at my fellow villagers, their faces radiated merry and blithe feelings. This came as a total shock to me; I never believed people could live happily in penurious conditions. The daily life of these people consisted of waking up at sunrise, working on their farms, cultivating crops, milking cows, and sleeping early. The kids didn't even have the opportunity to attend school, which was very distressing for me to hear.
I spoke to my uncle about how they grew accustomed to this lifestyle and he simply replied, "Look around you." It was difficult to fathom what he meant at first, but then I had an epiphany. A lavish lifestyle isn't necessary to live cheerfully, and money isn't everything. The village was situated around the best things nature has to offer, and a simplistic lifestyle is the best way to live as long as you connect with nature, because it is a direct creation by God. Living per God's conditions will allow any individual to attain divine happiness. Nature bestows life through the rain and sun, and is the purest beauty detached from mortal life. My trip to India made me modify the way I go about life, thanks to three words spoken by my uncle. His straightforward reply still reverberates in my head, and wherever I go, I will always look around.
Question) Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
Everyone is affected by a particular person or a group of individuals; however, the duration of the effect is what really makes an encounter significant. I have met many people who have made an impact in my life, but none have left a greater imprint in my heart than the people from a village in India. This experience taught what really matters in life and material possessions don't define one's satisfaction.
The first time I went to India was as an infant, only seven months old. There was hardly anything I could recollect from that age, which is why I told my parents I want to visit India again. After endlessly insisting on going to India, my parents finally gave in to my request. During the February break of 9th grade, my parents took me to India. When we arrived at Ahmadabad airport, the air was dusty and people were scrambling for their luggage. My first real impression of India wasn't the ideal image I visualized, and it seemed as though I would be living in unpalatable conditions.
A rickshaw picked my family up from the airport and drove us to Gavada, a tiny village in the state of Gujarat, about 2 hours away from the airport. The drive was very rugged: it felt as if there wasn't a second during the drive where I could sit without jumping out of my seat or without being smacked in the face by a whirl of dust and sand. When I finally reached the village, the scenery was exquisite, but quality of life looked pitiable. However, as I looked at my fellow villagers, their faces radiated merry and blithe feelings. This came as a total shock to me; I never believed people could live happily in penurious conditions. The daily life of these people consisted of waking up at sunrise, working on their farms, cultivating crops, milking cows, and sleeping early. The kids didn't even have the opportunity to attend school, which was very distressing for me to hear.
I spoke to my uncle about how they grew accustomed to this lifestyle and he simply replied, "Look around you." It was difficult to fathom what he meant at first, but then I had an epiphany. A lavish lifestyle isn't necessary to live cheerfully, and money isn't everything. The village was situated around the best things nature has to offer, and a simplistic lifestyle is the best way to live as long as you connect with nature, because it is a direct creation by God. Living per God's conditions will allow any individual to attain divine happiness. Nature bestows life through the rain and sun, and is the purest beauty detached from mortal life. My trip to India made me modify the way I go about life, thanks to three words spoken by my uncle. His straightforward reply still reverberates in my head, and wherever I go, I will always look around.
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